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Article #365: Why Be A Parent - Baby Care

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Mother soon as they were old enough to work,
It's worth questioning your own ideas children made a vital contribution to the
about parenthood, and whether what you family's economic welfare, and parenthood
think of as a mother's role isn't just as was also a guarantee of being cared for
applicable to fathers. in old age.
Attitudes to fathering Changing Demands
Traditionally, fathers came home from In the much more fragmented society in
work expecting the home to be clean, the which we live today, children aren't
children ready for bed, and a meal on the expected to contribute to the family
table. Today, it's hard to believe that income (at least not until they have
many modern mothers would stand for this. finished their education), and the state
Some women still expect their partners to has taken over some of the basic
handle all the family finances, some responsibilities for the elderly, or
times to their disadvantage. It's a good people make their own provision for old
idea if couples can find a fair way to age. As a result, the economic demands of
share their financial burdens. the family are now directed downward,
It's often assumed that men do all the from parents to children, instead of the
heavy work. However, while a man must do other way around. Bringing up children
this when his partner is pregnant and the today can be a costly business, and not
baby is young, women are bigger and just financially. For the first time in
stronger than they used to be, and these history, large numbers of women can
tasks can be shared. achieve a whole range of satisfactions
Women still tend to take on the chores out side parenthood and the home; and
while their partners play with the baby, with safe methods of contraception, they
even when both parents work. It's much can also choose when and whether they
better, though, if both of you play with want to have children. This doesn't mean
your baby, and share the house work that large numbers of women are opting
equally. out of motherhood, though some are; but
Some women leave discipline to their what they are doing is fitting having and
partners, but this is both out dated and bringing up children in to lives where
a cop out. Try to agree on attitudes to work and a career are also seen as theirs
discipline and apply them consistently. by right.
You may never do anything more important A Question Of Upbringing
than bringing up a child. However Having begun to consider parenthood
satisfying your career, whatever sports seriously, the first thing to realize
or leisure goals you've achieved, you'll before you go further is that having a
find parenthood is a role that is baby is just the overture to bringing up
rewarding in a way that is unlike a child. It isn't too difficult to
anything else. imagine having a baby the excitement, the
Following Your Instincts celebrations, the delighted grandparents,
The instinct to bear children is a strong the supportive friends and family. But
one, and luckily the joy and fulfillment it's almost impossible to visualize
felt by most parents far out weigh some bringing up a child if you haven't done
of the inconveniences and compromises it. The demands in time, energy, and
that they may have to accept. Although emotion are almost limitless, unless of
this isn't always so, making the decision course the first thing you're going to
to have a child usually comes from with teach your toddler is how to use the
in a close, loving relationship between remote control for the TV and VCR. This
two people who decide that they would isn't an option for most people because,
like to express their mutual affection in even before you become parents, you'll
having a baby. This is just as well ­ have some idea of the kind of people you
you're unlikely to make the decision hope your children will grow up to be,
because you're attracted by the idea of and of the upbringing that will make this
reduced free time, never being able to idea a reality.
put your self first, sleeplessness, and A Firm Foundation
forking out for designer infant clothes! Upbringing begins from the moment of
lf you think carefully about the changes birth. For a baby or young child,
brought about by parenthood, you'll everything is a learning experience, so
realize that it's your genes that are how you care for your baby is influential
pushing you relentlessly toward from day one. It's worth looking at the
recreating your selves in the form of background of some one you know who is
children. Now a days, people don't like independent but has a large capacity to
to admit that they might be at the beck love and interrelate with others, who is
and call of basic urges and tend to dress effective and confident, who recognizes
them up as something more refined. That's that there is such a thing as the general
fine, so long as we remember that we can good, and wants to contribute to it.
also push back and say no to parenthood. You'll probably find that person found
For some, that can be the best decision, the world an accepting, loving,
because having a baby is a commitment encouraging, reasonable, and respectful
like no other. place from birth. His parents made him
More Than Just Nature feel that way, and the foundation for
A.side from biological reasons, people everything he has become was provided by
also want to have a baby for fulfillment them in his first year of life.
and personal achievement. Human beings Father
arc social animals, and the way they It's a good idea to be clear about your
think and act always has a social own attitude to parenting to make sure it
clement. This is shown most clearly in doesn't reinforce traditional stereo
human parenthood in thc case of adoption, types about mothers and fathers. What you
where (usually) two people voluntarily may think of as a mother's role can be
make a commitment to assume all the just as applicable to fathers.
rights and duties of natural parents, Attitudes to mothering
while being genetically unrelated to the While it's still true that it's mostly
child. Adoption also illustrates the women who stay at home, many are now
depth of the emotional need that people returning to work within months of the
feel to nurture, educate and above all, birth. Also, more and more men are
love a child. What you give to your becoming stay at home dads.
children in time, love, understanding, Recent surveys show that women, even full
and teaching will constantly be repaid as time working mothers, still do most of
you watch them grow and develop over the the chores in the home. Ask your self if
years. Every child is genetically a blend this is fair there's no reason why
of his parents, but he is also a unique cooking and cleaning can't be shared.
personality in his own right, and knowing Tasks such as dealing with care givers
that you have been the primary influences and teachers and taking the kids to
and educators in allowing that school used to be seen as a mother's
personality to take shape and mature is responsibility. But more fathers are
deeply enriching as well as being a major fitting daily activities like taking
achievement. their child to the doctor into their
Social And Economic Pressures working day.
In a society where everyone goes to It used to be thought that mothers put
school, everyone expects to go to school. children to bed, but most fathers enjoy
Similarly, when every one except a small the bed time routine, especially if
minority has children, people expect to they've been away from their children all
have children. It's as though a person day.
has to have a reason for remaining The idea prevalent not so long ago that
childless, rather than the opposite. In it was somehow demeaning for a man to
the past, when families tended to live push a stroller is now laughable. Men are
close together, in the same street or pleased to be seen doing this and are
village if not actually in the same also more than happy to take their
house, there were quite important children out with out their partners.
economic reasons for having children. As






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