| Mother | | | | for having children. As soon as they were old |
| | | | enough to work, children made a vital |
| It's worth questioning your own ideas about | | | | contribution to the family's economic |
| parenthood, and whether what you think of as | | | | welfare, and parenthood was also a guarantee |
| a mother's role isn't just as applicable to | | | | of being cared for in old age. |
| fathers. | | | | |
| | | | Changing Demands |
| Attitudes to fathering | | | | |
| | | | In the much more fragmented society in which |
| Traditionally, fathers came home from work | | | | we live today, children aren't expected to |
| expecting the home to be clean, the children | | | | contribute to the family income (at least not |
| ready for bed, and a meal on the table. | | | | until they have finished their education), |
| Today, it's hard to believe that many modern | | | | and the state has taken over some of the |
| mothers would stand for this. | | | | basic responsibilities for the elderly, or |
| | | | people make their own provision for old age. |
| Some women still expect their partners to | | | | As a result, the economic demands of the |
| handle all the family finances, some times to | | | | family are now directed downward, from |
| their disadvantage. It's a good idea if | | | | parents to children, instead of the other way |
| couples can find a fair way to share their | | | | around. Bringing up children today can be a |
| financial burdens. | | | | costly business, and not just financially. |
| | | | For the first time in history, large numbers |
| It's often assumed that men do all the heavy | | | | of women can achieve a whole range of |
| work. However, while a man must do this when | | | | satisfactions out side parenthood and the |
| his partner is pregnant and the baby is | | | | home; and with safe methods of contraception, |
| young, women are bigger and stronger than | | | | they can also choose when and whether they |
| they used to be, and these tasks can be | | | | want to have children. This doesn't mean that |
| shared. | | | | large numbers of women are opting out of |
| | | | motherhood, though some are; but what they |
| Women still tend to take on the chores while | | | | are doing is fitting having and bringing up |
| their partners play with the baby, even when | | | | children in to lives where work and a career |
| both parents work. It's much better, though, | | | | are also seen as theirs by right. |
| if both of you play with your baby, and share | | | | |
| the house work equally. | | | | A Question Of Upbringing |
| | | | |
| Some women leave discipline to their | | | | Having begun to consider parenthood |
| partners, but this is both out dated and a | | | | seriously, the first thing to realize before |
| cop out. Try to agree on attitudes to | | | | you go further is that having a baby is just |
| discipline and apply them consistently. | | | | the overture to bringing up a child. It isn't |
| | | | too difficult to imagine having a baby the |
| You may never do anything more important than | | | | excitement, the celebrations, the delighted |
| bringing up a child. However satisfying your | | | | grandparents, the supportive friends and |
| career, whatever sports or leisure goals | | | | family. But it's almost impossible to |
| you've achieved, you'll find parenthood is a | | | | visualize bringing up a child if you haven't |
| role that is rewarding in a way that is | | | | done it. The demands in time, energy, and |
| unlike anything else. | | | | emotion are almost limitless, unless of |
| | | | course the first thing you're going to teach |
| Following Your Instincts | | | | your toddler is how to use the remote control |
| | | | for the TV and VCR. This isn't an option for |
| The instinct to bear children is a strong | | | | most people because, even before you become |
| one, and luckily the joy and fulfillment felt | | | | parents, you'll have some idea of the kind of |
| by most parents far out weigh some of the | | | | people you hope your children will grow up to |
| inconveniences and compromises that they may | | | | be, and of the upbringing that will make this |
| have to accept. Although this isn't always | | | | idea a reality. |
| so, making the decision to have a child | | | | |
| usually comes from with in a close, loving | | | | A Firm Foundation |
| relationship between two people who decide | | | | |
| that they would like to express their mutual | | | | Upbringing begins from the moment of birth. |
| affection in having a baby. This is just as | | | | For a baby or young child, everything is a |
| well  you're unlikely to make the | | | | learning experience, so how you care for your |
| decision because you're attracted by the idea | | | | baby is influential from day one. It's worth |
| of reduced free time, never being able to put | | | | looking at the background of some one you |
| your self first, sleeplessness, and forking | | | | know who is independent but has a large |
| out for designer infant clothes! lf you think | | | | capacity to love and interrelate with others, |
| carefully about the changes brought about by | | | | who is effective and confident, who |
| parenthood, you'll realize that it's your | | | | recognizes that there is such a thing as the |
| genes that are pushing you relentlessly | | | | general good, and wants to contribute to it. |
| toward recreating your selves in the form of | | | | You'll probably find that person found the |
| children. Now a days, people don't like to | | | | world an accepting, loving, encouraging, |
| admit that they might be at the beck and call | | | | reasonable, and respectful place from birth. |
| of basic urges and tend to dress them up as | | | | His parents made him feel that way, and the |
| something more refined. That's fine, so long | | | | foundation for everything he has become was |
| as we remember that we can also push back and | | | | provided by them in his first year of life. |
| say no to parenthood. For some, that can be | | | | |
| the best decision, because having a baby is a | | | | Father |
| commitment like no other. | | | | |
| | | | It's a good idea to be clear about your own |
| More Than Just Nature | | | | attitude to parenting to make sure it doesn't |
| | | | reinforce traditional stereo types about |
| A.side from biological reasons, people also | | | | mothers and fathers. What you may think of as |
| want to have a baby for fulfillment and | | | | a mother's role can be just as applicable to |
| personal achievement. Human beings arc social | | | | fathers. |
| animals, and the way they think and act | | | | |
| always has a social clement. This is shown | | | | Attitudes to mothering |
| most clearly in human parenthood in thc case | | | | |
| of adoption, where (usually) two people | | | | While it's still true that it's mostly women |
| voluntarily make a commitment to assume all | | | | who stay at home, many are now returning to |
| the rights and duties of natural parents, | | | | work within months of the birth. Also, more |
| while being genetically unrelated to the | | | | and more men are becoming stay at home dads. |
| child. Adoption also illustrates the depth of | | | | |
| the emotional need that people feel to | | | | Recent surveys show that women, even full |
| nurture, educate and above all, love a child. | | | | time working mothers, still do most of the |
| What you give to your children in time, love, | | | | chores in the home. Ask your self if this is |
| understanding, and teaching will constantly | | | | fair there's no reason why cooking and |
| be repaid as you watch them grow and develop | | | | cleaning can't be shared. |
| over the years. Every child is genetically a | | | | |
| blend of his parents, but he is also a unique | | | | Tasks such as dealing with care givers and |
| personality in his own right, and knowing | | | | teachers and taking the kids to school used |
| that you have been the primary influences and | | | | to be seen as a mother's responsibility. But |
| educators in allowing that personality to | | | | more fathers are fitting daily activities |
| take shape and mature is deeply enriching as | | | | like taking their child to the doctor into |
| well as being a major achievement. | | | | their working day. |
| | | | |
| Social And Economic Pressures | | | | It used to be thought that mothers put |
| | | | children to bed, but most fathers enjoy the |
| In a society where everyone goes to school, | | | | bed time routine, especially if they've been |
| everyone expects to go to school. Similarly, | | | | away from their children all day. |
| when every one except a small minority has | | | | |
| children, people expect to have children. | | | | The idea prevalent not so long ago that it |
| It's as though a person has to have a reason | | | | was somehow demeaning for a man to push a |
| for remaining childless, rather than the | | | | stroller is now laughable. Men are pleased to |
| opposite. In the past, when families tended | | | | be seen doing this and are also more than |
| to live close together, in the same street or | | | | happy to take their children out with out |
| village if not actually in the same house, | | | | their partners. |
| there were quite important economic reasons | | | | |