| Mother | | | | important economic reasons for having |
| It's worth questioning your own ideas | | | | children. As soon as they were old |
| about parenthood, and whether what you | | | | enough to work, children made a vital |
| think of as a mother's role isn't just | | | | contribution to the family's economic |
| as applicable to fathers. | | | | welfare, and parenthood was also a |
| Attitudes to fathering | | | | guarantee of being cared for in old age. |
| Traditionally, fathers came home from | | | | Changing Demands |
| work expecting the home to be clean, the | | | | In the much more fragmented society in |
| children ready for bed, and a meal on | | | | which we live today, children aren't |
| the table. Today, it's hard to believe | | | | expected to contribute to the family |
| that many modern mothers would stand for | | | | income (at least not until they have |
| this. | | | | finished their education), and the state |
| Some women still expect their partners | | | | has taken over some of the basic |
| to handle all the family finances, some | | | | responsibilities for the elderly, or |
| times to their disadvantage. It's a good | | | | people make their own provision for old |
| idea if couples can find a fair way to | | | | age. As a result, the economic demands |
| share their financial burdens. | | | | of the family are now directed downward, |
| It's often assumed that men do all the | | | | from parents to children, instead of the |
| heavy work. However, while a man must do | | | | other way around. Bringing up children |
| this when his partner is pregnant and | | | | today can be a costly business, and not |
| the baby is young, women are bigger and | | | | just financially. For the first time in |
| stronger than they used to be, and these | | | | history, large numbers of women can |
| tasks can be shared. | | | | achieve a whole range of satisfactions |
| Women still tend to take on the chores | | | | out side parenthood and the home; and |
| while their partners play with the baby, | | | | with safe methods of contraception, they |
| even when both parents work. It's much | | | | can also choose when and whether they |
| better, though, if both of you play with | | | | want to have children. This doesn't mean |
| your baby, and share the house work | | | | that large numbers of women are opting |
| equally. | | | | out of motherhood, though some are; but |
| Some women leave discipline to their | | | | what they are doing is fitting having |
| partners, but this is both out dated and | | | | and bringing up children in to lives |
| a cop out. Try to agree on attitudes to | | | | where work and a career are also seen as |
| discipline and apply them consistently. | | | | theirs by right. |
| You may never do anything more important | | | | A Question Of Upbringing |
| than bringing up a child. However | | | | Having begun to consider parenthood |
| satisfying your career, whatever sports | | | | seriously, the first thing to realize |
| or leisure goals you've achieved, you'll | | | | before you go further is that having a |
| find parenthood is a role that is | | | | baby is just the overture to bringing up |
| rewarding in a way that is unlike | | | | a child. It isn't too difficult to |
| anything else. | | | | imagine having a baby the excitement, |
| Following Your Instincts | | | | the celebrations, the delighted |
| The instinct to bear children is a | | | | grandparents, the supportive friends and |
| strong one, and luckily the joy and | | | | family. But it's almost impossible to |
| fulfillment felt by most parents far out | | | | visualize bringing up a child if you |
| weigh some of the inconveniences and | | | | haven't done it. The demands in time, |
| compromises that they may have to | | | | energy, and emotion are almost |
| accept. Although this isn't always so, | | | | limitless, unless of course the first |
| making the decision to have a child | | | | thing you're going to teach your toddler |
| usually comes from with in a close, | | | | is how to use the remote control for the |
| loving relationship between two people | | | | TV and VCR. This isn't an option for |
| who decide that they would like to | | | | most people because, even before you |
| express their mutual affection in having | | | | become parents, you'll have some idea of |
| a baby. This is just as well you're | | | | the kind of people you hope your |
| unlikely to make the decision because | | | | children will grow up to be, and of the |
| you're attracted by the idea of reduced | | | | upbringing that will make this idea a |
| free time, never being able to put your | | | | reality. |
| self first, sleeplessness, and forking | | | | A Firm Foundation |
| out for designer infant clothes! lf you | | | | Upbringing begins from the moment of |
| think carefully about the changes | | | | birth. For a baby or young child, |
| brought about by parenthood, you'll | | | | everything is a learning experience, so |
| realize that it's your genes that are | | | | how you care for your baby is |
| pushing you relentlessly toward | | | | influential from day one. It's worth |
| recreating your selves in the form of | | | | looking at the background of some one |
| children. Now a days, people don't like | | | | you know who is independent but has a |
| to admit that they might be at the beck | | | | large capacity to love and interrelate |
| and call of basic urges and tend to | | | | with others, who is effective and |
| dress them up as something more refined. | | | | confident, who recognizes that there is |
| That's fine, so long as we remember that | | | | such a thing as the general good, and |
| we can also push back and say no to | | | | wants to contribute to it. You'll |
| parenthood. For some, that can be the | | | | probably find that person found the |
| best decision, because having a baby is | | | | world an accepting, loving, encouraging, |
| a commitment like no other. | | | | reasonable, and respectful place from |
| More Than Just Nature | | | | birth. His parents made him feel that |
| A.side from biological reasons, people | | | | way, and the foundation for everything |
| also want to have a baby for fulfillment | | | | he has become was provided by them in |
| and personal achievement. Human beings | | | | his first year of life. |
| arc social animals, and the way they | | | | Father |
| think and act always has a social | | | | It's a good idea to be clear about your |
| clement. This is shown most clearly in | | | | own attitude to parenting to make sure |
| human parenthood in thc case of | | | | it doesn't reinforce traditional stereo |
| adoption, where (usually) two people | | | | types about mothers and fathers. What |
| voluntarily make a commitment to assume | | | | you may think of as a mother's role can |
| all the rights and duties of natural | | | | be just as applicable to fathers. |
| parents, while being genetically | | | | Attitudes to mothering |
| unrelated to the child. Adoption also | | | | While it's still true that it's mostly |
| illustrates the depth of the emotional | | | | women who stay at home, many are now |
| need that people feel to nurture, | | | | returning to work within months of the |
| educate and above all, love a child. | | | | birth. Also, more and more men are |
| What you give to your children in time, | | | | becoming stay at home dads. |
| love, understanding, and teaching will | | | | Recent surveys show that women, even |
| constantly be repaid as you watch them | | | | full time working mothers, still do most |
| grow and develop over the years. Every | | | | of the chores in the home. Ask your self |
| child is genetically a blend of his | | | | if this is fair there's no reason why |
| parents, but he is also a unique | | | | cooking and cleaning can't be shared. |
| personality in his own right, and | | | | Tasks such as dealing with care givers |
| knowing that you have been the primary | | | | and teachers and taking the kids to |
| influences and educators in allowing | | | | school used to be seen as a mother's |
| that personality to take shape and | | | | responsibility. But more fathers are |
| mature is deeply enriching as well as | | | | fitting daily activities like taking |
| being a major achievement. | | | | their child to the doctor into their |
| Social And Economic Pressures | | | | working day. |
| In a society where everyone goes to | | | | It used to be thought that mothers put |
| school, everyone expects to go to | | | | children to bed, but most fathers enjoy |
| school. Similarly, when every one except | | | | the bed time routine, especially if |
| a small minority has children, people | | | | they've been away from their children |
| expect to have children. It's as though | | | | all day. |
| a person has to have a reason for | | | | The idea prevalent not so long ago that |
| remaining childless, rather than the | | | | it was somehow demeaning for a man to |
| opposite. In the past, when families | | | | push a stroller is now laughable. Men |
| tended to live close together, in the | | | | are pleased to be seen doing this and |
| same street or village if not actually | | | | are also more than happy to take their |
| in the same house, there were quite | | | | children out with out their partners. |