| Mother | | | | As soon as they were old enough to work, children |
| It's worth questioning your own ideas about | | | | made a vital contribution to the family's economic |
| parenthood, and whether what you think of as a | | | | welfare, and parenthood was also a guarantee of |
| mother's role isn't just as applicable to fathers. | | | | being cared for in old age. |
| Attitudes to fathering | | | | Changing Demands |
| Traditionally, fathers came home from work | | | | In the much more fragmented society in which we |
| expecting the home to be clean, the children ready | | | | live today, children aren't expected to contribute to |
| for bed, and a meal on the table. Today, it's hard to | | | | the family income (at least not until they have |
| believe that many modern mothers would stand for | | | | finished their education), and the state has taken |
| this. | | | | over some of the basic responsibilities for the elderly, |
| Some women still expect their partners to handle all | | | | or people make their own provision for old age. As a |
| the family finances, some times to their disadvantage. | | | | result, the economic demands of the family are now |
| It's a good idea if couples can find a fair way to | | | | directed downward, from parents to children, instead |
| share their financial burdens. | | | | of the other way around. Bringing up children today |
| It's often assumed that men do all the heavy work. | | | | can be a costly business, and not just financially. For |
| However, while a man must do this when his partner | | | | the first time in history, large numbers of women can |
| is pregnant and the baby is young, women are bigger | | | | achieve a whole range of satisfactions out side |
| and stronger than they used to be, and these tasks | | | | parenthood and the home; and with safe methods of |
| can be shared. | | | | contraception, they can also choose when and |
| Women still tend to take on the chores while their | | | | whether they want to have children. This doesn't |
| partners play with the baby, even when both parents | | | | mean that large numbers of women are opting out |
| work. It's much better, though, if both of you play | | | | of motherhood, though some are; but what they are |
| with your baby, and share the house work equally. | | | | doing is fitting having and bringing up children in to |
| Some women leave discipline to their partners, but | | | | lives where work and a career are also seen as theirs |
| this is both out dated and a cop out. Try to agree on | | | | by right. |
| attitudes to discipline and apply them consistently. | | | | A Question Of Upbringing |
| You may never do anything more important than | | | | Having begun to consider parenthood seriously, the |
| bringing up a child. However satisfying your career, | | | | first thing to realize before you go further is that |
| whatever sports or leisure goals you've achieved, | | | | having a baby is just the overture to bringing up a |
| you'll find parenthood is a role that is rewarding in a | | | | child. It isn't too difficult to imagine having a baby the |
| way that is unlike anything else. | | | | excitement, the celebrations, the delighted |
| Following Your Instincts | | | | grandparents, the supportive friends and family. But |
| The instinct to bear children is a strong one, and | | | | it's almost impossible to visualize bringing up a child if |
| luckily the joy and fulfillment felt by most parents far | | | | you haven't done it. The demands in time, energy, |
| out weigh some of the inconveniences and | | | | and emotion are almost limitless, unless of course the |
| compromises that they may have to accept. | | | | first thing you're going to teach your toddler is how |
| Although this isn't always so, making the decision to | | | | to use the remote control for the TV and VCR. This |
| have a child usually comes from with in a close, loving | | | | isn't an option for most people because, even before |
| relationship between two people who decide that | | | | you become parents, you'll have some idea of the |
| they would like to express their mutual affection in | | | | kind of people you hope your children will grow up to |
| having a baby. This is just as well  you're | | | | be, and of the upbringing that will make this idea a |
| unlikely to make the decision because you're | | | | reality. |
| attracted by the idea of reduced free time, never | | | | A Firm Foundation |
| being able to put your self first, sleeplessness, and | | | | Upbringing begins from the moment of birth. For a |
| forking out for designer infant clothes! lf you think | | | | baby or young child, everything is a learning |
| carefully about the changes brought about by | | | | experience, so how you care for your baby is |
| parenthood, you'll realize that it's your genes that are | | | | influential from day one. It's worth looking at the |
| pushing you relentlessly toward recreating your | | | | background of some one you know who is |
| selves in the form of children. Now a days, people | | | | independent but has a large capacity to love and |
| don't like to admit that they might be at the beck | | | | interrelate with others, who is effective and |
| and call of basic urges and tend to dress them up as | | | | confident, who recognizes that there is such a thing |
| something more refined. That's fine, so long as we | | | | as the general good, and wants to contribute to it. |
| remember that we can also push back and say no to | | | | You'll probably find that person found the world an |
| parenthood. For some, that can be the best decision, | | | | accepting, loving, encouraging, reasonable, and |
| because having a baby is a commitment like no other. | | | | respectful place from birth. His parents made him feel |
| More Than Just Nature | | | | that way, and the foundation for everything he has |
| A.side from biological reasons, people also want to | | | | become was provided by them in his first year of life. |
| have a baby for fulfillment and personal achievement. | | | | Father |
| Human beings arc social animals, and the way they | | | | It's a good idea to be clear about your own attitude |
| think and act always has a social clement. This is | | | | to parenting to make sure it doesn't reinforce |
| shown most clearly in human parenthood in thc case | | | | traditional stereo types about mothers and fathers. |
| of adoption, where (usually) two people voluntarily | | | | What you may think of as a mother's role can be |
| make a commitment to assume all the rights and | | | | just as applicable to fathers. |
| duties of natural parents, while being genetically | | | | Attitudes to mothering |
| unrelated to the child. Adoption also illustrates the | | | | While it's still true that it's mostly women who stay |
| depth of the emotional need that people feel to | | | | at home, many are now returning to work within |
| nurture, educate and above all, love a child. What you | | | | months of the birth. Also, more and more men are |
| give to your children in time, love, understanding, and | | | | becoming stay at home dads. |
| teaching will constantly be repaid as you watch them | | | | Recent surveys show that women, even full time |
| grow and develop over the years. Every child is | | | | working mothers, still do most of the chores in the |
| genetically a blend of his parents, but he is also a | | | | home. Ask your self if this is fair there's no reason |
| unique personality in his own right, and knowing that | | | | why cooking and cleaning can't be shared. |
| you have been the primary influences and educators | | | | Tasks such as dealing with care givers and teachers |
| in allowing that personality to take shape and mature | | | | and taking the kids to school used to be seen as a |
| is deeply enriching as well as being a major | | | | mother's responsibility. But more fathers are fitting |
| achievement. | | | | daily activities like taking their child to the doctor into |
| Social And Economic Pressures | | | | their working day. |
| In a society where everyone goes to school, | | | | It used to be thought that mothers put children to |
| everyone expects to go to school. Similarly, when | | | | bed, but most fathers enjoy the bed time routine, |
| every one except a small minority has children, | | | | especially if they've been away from their children all |
| people expect to have children. It's as though a | | | | day. |
| person has to have a reason for remaining childless, | | | | The idea prevalent not so long ago that it was |
| rather than the opposite. In the past, when families | | | | somehow demeaning for a man to push a stroller is |
| tended to live close together, in the same street or | | | | now laughable. Men are pleased to be seen doing this |
| village if not actually in the same house, there were | | | | and are also more than happy to take their children |
| quite important economic reasons for having children. | | | | out with out their partners. |