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When do children really understand what "Adoption" means?

Today most Scientists & Adoption Agents arefuture adoptive parents. Once at an average
of the opinion that parents should informage of 11 years and 11 months the adoptive
their adopted children as soon as possiblechildren understood that the Agency first and
about their status. The issue shouldforemost acts on behalf and in the interest
thereafter be discussed more often at variousof the well being of the children put up for
points in time to give the child/children aadoption, therefore screening the potential
chance to grasp their special status and theadoptive  parents.
opportunity to ask questions. Only an early
introduction to the subject will give parentsBrodzinsky and his colleagues research
and children a chance to develop an open andclearly shows that the understanding of an
trusting  relationship  between  each  other.adoptive child with reference to its adoption
develops in predictable phases. In the
There are two sides to the process ofbeginning the knowledge is still very general
informing a child about it's adoptive status:and slightly diffuse but becomes more
First of all the information has to be passedsophisticated with time. This knowledge is
on to the child and secondly the child has toalso associated with a growing awareness of
understand the information it has been given.the connection with social organisations and
the  relating  laws.
It is more than likely that a 4 year old
child can be made to refer to itself asThe research indicates how difficult it must
"adopted" and further tell that it has grownbe for a child under the age of 13 or 14 to
in another woman's womb before being adoptedprocess the fact of having a dual set of
by it's present parents. This however doesparents. Younger children don't grasp this
not go to say that the child has understoodconcept at all, slightly older children find
what an adoption really means. More so it hasit hard to fit the characteristics of
to be assumed that due to the child's use ofadoptive parents into their idea of a family
very specific vocabulary related to the issueconcept. Eight and nine year olds know that
of adoption the parents are lured into theparents and children are blood related.
false belief that their child fullyAdoptive children of this particular age
understands the concept of adoption. By doinggroup therefore question which family they
so, the cognitive capability of a small childare really part of - their biological parents
is  highly  overestimated.or their adoptive parents. Bearing in mind
that children of this age group (8-9 year
It takes approximately 10 years for anolds) have not yet understood the concept of
adopted child to fully grasp the informationadoption including all its implications it is
about its adoption which they have been givennot surprising that they feel insecure of
at the age of 3 or 4. This knowledge was thetheir position within the adoptive family and
result of the scientific research byvoice a lot of questions regarding their
BRODZINSKY and his colleagues during theheritage.
"Rutgers Adoption Project" (1986). The
scientists examined 100 adopted children inDuring a further examination of 156 adopted
comparison to 100 non-adopted children. Therechildren aged 6-11 years old Brodzinsky and
were 20 children in each age group: 4-5 yearshis colleagues (1986) found out that a
old, 6-7 years old, 8-9 years old, 10-11child's comprehension of its adoption is
years old and 12-13 years old. All adoptiveneither influenced by structure of the
children were adopted within the first 2 ½adoptive family (only child, biological
years of their life. Their understanding ofsiblings, adopted siblings), their social
the adoption was evaluated on the basis of astatus, the previous history of the child nor
6  grade  chart.its age or condition of health at the time of
adoption. This means that the comprehension
Although the 4-5 year old children had alldevelops through an intra psychological
been informed about their adoption most ofprocess by combining the newly received
them did not have any understanding of theinformation with other relevant knowledge of
meaning of an adoption (grade 0). At anfamily structure, social institutions, human
average age of 5 years and 6 months mostmotives, separation, loss, - etc. This
examined children either assumed that allProcess is therefore imbedded in the overall
children in general were born to theircognitive  development  of  the  child.
biological parents or that adoption and
giving birth are the same (grade 1). At theThe results of this research clearly show
age of 7 years and 2 months children couldthat parents and adoption agents generally
distinguish between adoption and birth. Theyexpect the adoptive children to understand
viewed it as 2 different means of becoming athe process of an adoption too early. In
part of a family. The relationship betweenreturn they are surprised when primary school
the adoptive parents and the child waschildren ask a lot of questions regarding
described by the children to be a permanenttheir biological parents and their heritage,
one. However they could not articulate athe reasons for being put up for adoption as
reason for the permanence of thiswell as being insecure in terms of their
relationship other than voicing theadoptive parents love and sometimes show
assumption that "The child is now owned bysigns of sadness and depression. Parents and
its  adoptive  parents"  (grade  2).experts do not understand these behavioural
patterns and often wrongly judge it as
At an average age of 8 years and 8 months thenegative although it is quite normal, age
children were not so confident about theappropriate and probably inevitable. It is a
stability of the Parent-Child Relationshipsign that the children are trying to achieve
anymore. They believed that their biologicala better understanding of the adoption. In
parents would either claim them back one dayorder to do so they have to process the loss
or that their adoptive parents could alsoof their biological parents and the resulting
decide to give them away at some point inemotions (sadness) at this age. This is being
time (grade 3). At 10 years and 4 months ofcomplicated by the lack of knowledge about
age the children were confident in thetheir  biological  parents.
lastingness of the relationship between
adoptive parents and child again. WithConsequently it is vital that adoptive
regards to this newly found confidence theyparents make themselves aware of the fact
even referred to professionals in a positionthat adopted children will comprehend the
of authority such as Judges, Lawyers &adoption with all its implications not until
Medical Doctors (grade 4). It was not untilthey have entered their second decade of
the average age of 12 years and 5 months thatlife. They (adoptive parents ) can help the
the adopted children understood that anchild to achieve a positive and extensive
adoption on a legal basis of specific lawscomprehension of the adoption by openly and
incorporated the transfer of parental rightshonestly discussing the issue instead of
and duties from the biological parents to theavoiding it. It is equally important that
adoptive  parents  (Grade  5).they are also aware of the difference between
adoptive families and biological families
The adopted children were aware of anfurther understanding the special status of
Adoption Agency being involved in theirtheir own family. Primarily they should not
adoption at an average age of 8 years and 1overstrain the child and confront it with
month but did not know the actual task of theunrealistic expectations but should give the
Agency. Approximately 10 months later theychild the time it needs for the long lasting
understood that this organisation plays acognitive development process which will
vital role in the process. In most cases theconclude in a full comprehension of the
first assumption was that the Agency'sadoption.
purpose was to cater to the wishes of the



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