When do children really understand what 'Adoption' means?

Today most Scientists & Adoption Agents are of theassumption was that the Agency's purpose was to
opinion that parents should inform their adoptedcater to the wishes of the future adoptive parents.
children as soon as possible about their status. TheOnce at an average age of 11 years and 11 months
issue should thereafter be discussed more often atthe adoptive children understood that the Agency
various points in time to give the child/children afirst and foremost acts on behalf and in the interest
chance to grasp their special status and theof the well being of the children put up for adoption,
opportunity to ask questions. Only an earlytherefore screening the potential adoptive parents.
introduction to the subject will give parents andBrodzinsky and his colleagues research clearly shows
children a chance to develop an open and trustingthat the understanding of an adoptive child with
relationship between each other.reference to its adoption develops in predictable
There are two sides to the process of informing aphases. In the beginning the knowledge is still very
child about it's adoptive status: First of all thegeneral and slightly diffuse but becomes more
information has to be passed on to the child andsophisticated with time. This knowledge is also
secondly the child has to understand the informationassociated with a growing awareness of the
it has been given.connection with social organisations and the relating
It is more than likely that a 4 year old child can belaws.
made to refer to itself as "adopted" and further tellThe research indicates how difficult it must be for a
that it has grown in another woman's womb beforechild under the age of 13 or 14 to process the fact
being adopted by it's present parents. This howeverof having a dual set of parents. Younger children
does not go to say that the child has understooddon't grasp this concept at all, slightly older children
what an adoption really means. More so it has to befind it hard to fit the characteristics of adoptive
assumed that due to the child's use of very specificparents into their idea of a family concept. Eight and
vocabulary related to the issue of adoption thenine year olds know that parents and children are
parents are lured into the false belief that their childblood related. Adoptive children of this particular age
fully understands the concept of adoption. By doinggroup therefore question which family they are really
so, the cognitive capability of a small child is highlypart of - their biological parents or their adoptive
overestimated.parents. Bearing in mind that children of this age
It takes approximately 10 years for an adopted childgroup (8-9 year olds) have not yet understood the
to fully grasp the information about its adoptionconcept of adoption including all its implications it is
which they have been given at the age of 3 or 4.not surprising that they feel insecure of their position
This knowledge was the result of the scientificwithin the adoptive family and voice a lot of
research by BRODZINSKY and his colleagues duringquestions regarding their heritage.
the "Rutgers Adoption Project" (1986). The scientistsDuring a further examination of 156 adopted children
examined 100 adopted children in comparison to 100aged 6-11 years old Brodzinsky and his colleagues
non-adopted children. There were 20 children in each(1986) found out that a child's comprehension of its
age group: 4-5 years old, 6-7 years old, 8-9 years old,adoption is neither influenced by structure of the
10-11 years old and 12-13 years old. All adoptiveadoptive family (only child, biological siblings, adopted
children were adopted within the first 2 ½siblings), their social status, the previous history of
years of their life. Their understanding of thethe child nor its age or condition of health at the time
adoption was evaluated on the basis of a 6 gradeof adoption. This means that the comprehension
chart.develops through an intra psychological process by
Although the 4-5 year old children had all beencombining the newly received information with other
informed about their adoption most of them did notrelevant knowledge of family structure, social
have any understanding of the meaning of aninstitutions, human motives, separation, loss, - etc.
adoption (grade 0). At an average age of 5 yearsThis Process is therefore imbedded in the overall
and 6 months most examined children either assumedcognitive development of the child.
that all children in general were born to their biologicalThe results of this research clearly show that parents
parents or that adoption and giving birth are theand adoption agents generally expect the adoptive
same (grade 1). At the age of 7 years and 2 monthschildren to understand the process of an adoption
children could distinguish between adoption and birth.too early. In return they are surprised when primary
They viewed it as 2 different means of becoming aschool children ask a lot of questions regarding their
part of a family. The relationship between thebiological parents and their heritage, the reasons for
adoptive parents and the child was described by thebeing put up for adoption as well as being insecure in
children to be a permanent one. However they couldterms of their adoptive parents love and sometimes
not articulate a reason for the permanence of thisshow signs of sadness and depression. Parents and
relationship other than voicing the assumption thatexperts do not understand these behavioural
"The child is now owned by its adoptive parents"patterns and often wrongly judge it as negative
(grade 2).although it is quite normal, age appropriate and
At an average age of 8 years and 8 months theprobably inevitable. It is a sign that the children are
children were not so confident about the stability oftrying to achieve a better understanding of the
the Parent-Child Relationship anymore. They believedadoption. In order to do so they have to process the
that their biological parents would either claim themloss of their biological parents and the resulting
back one day or that their adoptive parents couldemotions (sadness) at this age. This is being
also decide to give them away at some point in timecomplicated by the lack of knowledge about their
(grade 3). At 10 years and 4 months of age thebiological parents.
children were confident in the lastingness of theConsequently it is vital that adoptive parents make
relationship between adoptive parents and child again.themselves aware of the fact that adopted children
With regards to this newly found confidence theywill comprehend the adoption with all its implications
even referred to professionals in a position ofnot until they have entered their second decade of
authority such as Judges, Lawyers & Medical Doctorslife. They (adoptive parents ) can help the child to
(grade 4). It was not until the average age of 12achieve a positive and extensive comprehension of
years and 5 months that the adopted childrenthe adoption by openly and honestly discussing the
understood that an adoption on a legal basis ofissue instead of avoiding it. It is equally important that
specific laws incorporated the transfer of parentalthey are also aware of the difference between
rights and duties from the biological parents to theadoptive families and biological families further
adoptive parents (Grade 5).understanding the special status of their own family.
The adopted children were aware of an AdoptionPrimarily they should not overstrain the child and
Agency being involved in their adoption at an averageconfront it with unrealistic expectations but should
age of 8 years and 1 month but did not know thegive the child the time it needs for the long lasting
actual task of the Agency. Approximately 10 monthscognitive development process which will conclude in
later they understood that this organisation plays aa full comprehension of the adoption.
vital role in the process. In most cases the first