| With infertility struggles on the rise,
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| | Websites of this kind are great resources
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| more hopeful parents are turning to the
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| | for the African American birthmother as
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| internet for help in building their
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| | well. As with any adoption, internet
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| families through adoption. African
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| | birthmothers must provide proof of
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| American couples and women who are facing
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| | pregnancy, are screened, and are given
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| infertility are logging on to their
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| | resources to help them throughout the
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| computer to find resources to help them
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| | adoption process. These resources include
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| adopt.
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| | optional counseling, and opportunities to
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| Expectant African American women seeking
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| | speak with an attorney free of charge
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| adoptive parents for their children have
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| | .
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| increased drastically in the last year,
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| | These services are offered regardless of
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| even though the African American
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| | where the birthparent lives. If the
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| community has historically been opposed
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| | birthparent would like even more privacy,
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| to the option of adoption. Opponents of
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| | these services can be offered over the
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| adoption often state "We take care of our
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| | phone. Many African American birthmothers
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| own," and "We don't believe in having
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| | face immense pressure from family and
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| anyone outside of our family raising our
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| | friends to keep their babies, so outside
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| own flesh and blood." However, this too
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| | support and help is very important.
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| has been quickly changing, as the
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| | In a recent interview, a social worker
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| internet is opening many new avenues for
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| | gave the following information:
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| adoption. Women access the websites from
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| | "Statistics show that in the US, there
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| a library or a friend's computer if they
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| | are over 500 thousand children in foster
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| don't have their own.
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| | care. The majority are African American
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| In the past, if a young woman was not
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| | or biracial children. Approximately
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| ready to parent, she just "got ready."
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| | 100,000 of these are waiting to be
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| Adoption was not an option to her as a
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| | adopted. Because the number of children
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| African American woman. The pressure from
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| | entering the foster care system is so
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| family and friends was just too great.
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| | great, the children can't be processed
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| She and her family would often raise the
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| | quickly enough. So, they are being placed
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| child together. Many African American
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| | in overburdened foster care programs."
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| grandmothers are involved in raising
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| | Many state and county adoption programs
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| their grandchildren; however, some are
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| | have so many hoops to jump through before
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| unable to raise them because of poor
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| | a child is available for adoption. Even
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| health or finances.
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| | if the assigned social worker knows that
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| Birth mothers now have many choices in
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| | the best interest of the child would be
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| adoption, and are making decisions for
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| | to have them in a permanent adoptive
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| the good of their child and for
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| | home, their hands are tied with red tape
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| themselves, instead of relying on their
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| | for months or even years . Children that
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| families. This marks a new view of
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| | could have been adopted immediately as
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| adoption for African American birth
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| | infants become older, often with more
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| parents.
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| | problems, making it harder for some to be
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| Shauna was 19 when she became pregnant
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| | adopted.
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| for the first time. "I felt terrible. I
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| | Some websites are trying to help
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| was raised in the church, and my mother
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| | alleviate this problem by offering a 24
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| raised us to get ahead and have a good
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| | hour hotline to call. Birthparents and
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| future." She remembers the conversation
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| | hospital social workers are now given the
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| in her mother's kitchen. "Mom, I want to
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| | option to call whenever the baby is born.
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| finish college," Shauna pleaded. "I want
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| | Their child is adopted immediately, going
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| a career; I want more than you have. I'm
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| | home with the adoptive family from the
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| not ready to be a mother." Her mother
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| | hospital, and avoiding foster care
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| slapped Shauna and left the room. She was
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| | altogether. "When we receive a call in
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| asked to leave the house, and that's when
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| | the middle of the night from a
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| she decided to look at adoption. "None of
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| | birthmother or social worker, we are able
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| my family supported me, and I knew I
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| | to help them the same day. Birthmothers
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| wanted to do more. I knew I couldn't take
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| | can speak to pre-screened adoptive
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| care of a baby either. Adoption was the
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| | families on the phone," says Heather
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| best answer for me".
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| | Featherstone, Director of Adoption
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| As more African American women start to
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| | Services at Lifetime Adoption.
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| attend college away from their families,
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| | Once the birthmother has chosen a family,
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| they do not want to give up their
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| | she has the option to meet them, and the
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| independence to raise a child. Others
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| | baby normally goes home with the adoptive
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| have said that their parents have stated
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| | family from the hospital.
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| "you made your bed, now sleep in it,"
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| | Shauna was one mother that felt that this
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| offering no help at all. Increasingly,
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| | was a big benefit of adoption, "I didn't
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| more African American women are choosing
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| | want to take her home. When I signed the
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| adoption, even if it means their family
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| | papers, I had a real peace about my
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| may be upset for a while about their
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| | decision." Legal and medical expenses are
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| choice. They feel they can live with that
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| | paid for by the adoptive parents, so
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| in order to give their child a good life.
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| | there are no expenses to the
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| Women facing an untimely pregnancy are
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| | birthparents. Since the adoption is
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| turning in larger numbers to the web to
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| | private, the process is much more
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| find resources, services and support. The
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| | confidential, allowing the birthmother
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| internet allows birth mothers to research
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| | freedom to share her plans only with whom
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| and read about adoption in the privacy of
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| | she wishes.
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| their homes. This is allowing families
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| | Latisha was in her first year of nursing
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| and birth mothers to work with
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| | school when she found she was pregnant
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| organizations across the country, such as
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| | after a one-night encounter. She was
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| Lifetime Adoption, which has an African
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| | afraid that her parents would find out
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| American Enrichment program, and does
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| | about the pregnancy. "I just knew
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| more than 120 adoptions every year.
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| | adoption was the only solution," she
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| 22 year old Sheila was seeking to
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| | said. She wanted her baby to be adopted
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| relocate out of state until the birth and
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| | by a family she chose. She found her
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| then wanted to return home to continue
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| | baby's adoptive family on the internet in
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| her career. She said, "It's no one's
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| | the privacy of her dorm room. "Not even
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| business but mine." Since 1996, internet
| |
| | my roommate knew about my plans for
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| adoption sites have more than quadrupled.
| |
| | adoption until I had chosen the family
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| In the past it would have been difficult
| |
| | and was going to meet them. She even went
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| for prospective adoptive parents for
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| | with me and was very supportive." Through
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| example in Michigan to meet a birth
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| | the internet site she was able to select
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| mother in California. Now, with web sites
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| | and meet a young professional African
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| like and adoption answers are at
| |
| | American adoptive couple. Latisha and the
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| everyone's fingertips anytime of the day.
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| | chosen adoptive parents spoke on the
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| Birthmothers can read about waiting
| |
| | phone, met and spent time together before
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| adoptive families of all races, view
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| | the birth and at the hospital. "We had a
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| their photos, and read their online "dear
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| | lot in common, and that helped," she
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| birthmother" letters before speaking to
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| | says. Once the baby was born, Latisha
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| them on the phone.
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| | planned to let the adoptive mother hold
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| The site includes the confidential posts
| |
| | the baby first in the delivery room. "By
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| of over 200 birth mothers of all ages who
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| | planning the adoption, I was aware of
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| are seeking adoptive families. Many of
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| | what to expect," she said. "It confirmed
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| them are African American women. Lifetime
| |
| | my decision when I saw them holding their
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| states "it is not uncommon for a
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| | new baby. Even though I gave birth to
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| birthmother to email or call after
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| | him, I knew they were his parents. I
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| finding three families she is interested
| |
| | didn't want a social worker making the
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| in speaking to, just from reading their
| |
| | decisions about where my baby was going."
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| profiles on the web site." African
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| | Three years later, she receives e-mails,
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| American families are often matched very
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| | letters and photos about her son's life.
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| quickly. Most birthmothers are requesting
| |
| | The family has a web site where they post
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| married couples with traditional values
| |
| | current photos of the baby that she can
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| and some faith in God, with at least one
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| | access. It was Latisha's choice not to
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| parent who is African American. Some
| |
| | have physical contact: "I felt the time I
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| women are comfortable contacting families
| |
| | spent with them convinced me that they
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| of another race, as long as the family
| |
| | would love him just as much as I did. I
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| has already adopted a child who is
| |
| | just didn't want to interfere in their
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| African American or bi-racial. Other
| |
| | life. I am always going to be his mother,
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| women are open to families of all races,
| |
| | they are his parents, and I am okay with
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| as long as the family will maintain the
| |
| | that. The photos are wonderful, I know he
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| African American culture with their
| |
| | has a great life, and that helps me feel
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| child. When it comes to contact after
| |
| | good about my decision. It was hard at
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| adoption, many birthmothers would like to
| |
| | the beginning and I experienced some
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| exchange letters and photos with their
| |
| | depression, but I know that they will
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| birth child after they are adopted.
| |
| | share with him the photos and letter I
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| Others want little or no contact. Many
| |
| | wrote him. If in the future he would like
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| birthmothers have children already, but
| |
| | to meet me, that will be his choice. I am
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| for others this is their first pregnancy.
| |
| | happy for my son and his new family."
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| An adoption coordinator at Lifetime
| |
| | The internet and open adoption programs
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| Adoption commented, "There always seems
| |
| | are giving pregnant women options for
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| to be a shortage of black adoptive
| |
| | their unplanned pregnancy, and an ability
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| families. Most are chosen within weeks of
| |
| | to find a family that can offer love and
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| being featured on the African American
| |
| | security for their child. Their children
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| website. The need for more black adoptive
| |
| | will know that their birthmother loved
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| parents who can provide a secure, loving
| |
| | them enough to choose adoption for them.
|
| and stable home is always present." Yet,
| |
| | For more information adoption on the
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| many families who are open to adoption
| |
| | internet:
|
| are unaware of this need. Websites
| |
| | Copyright © 2007 Mardie Caldwell,
|
| completely devoted to African American
| |
| | C.O.A.P. All rights reserved worldwide.
|
| Adoptions are helping to raise the
| |
| | No part of this may be copied or sold
|
| awareness of this issue.
| |
| | without permission.
|
