| If you are pregnant and contemplating the idea of | | | | adoptive family have children already? Are the |
| putting your baby up for adoption, be sure you | | | | adoptive parents planning to adopt other children? |
| protect your rights and your baby's rights and plan a | | | | How do they plan to fund college? |
| smooth adoption process. | | | | Does the family plan to move anytime soon or will |
| Putting your baby up for adoption is an emotional | | | | they remain in the house they are in for awhile? Has |
| decision and one that many mothers rush through, | | | | either adoptive parent raised younger brothers or |
| because they don't want to think about the loss that | | | | sisters? Did they baby sit as teenagers? What is their |
| looms at the end of the process. But, you owe it to | | | | childcare experience? What kind of healthcare |
| yourself and your baby to do this the right way. | | | | coverage do they have? |
| There are a number of things you should consider | | | | Do they have an extended family (grandparents and |
| before you make a decision about the adoption | | | | others) to help care for the adopted baby? Do both |
| agency and the people into whose hands you | | | | the adoptive parents work? If so, who will care for |
| delivery your new baby. | | | | the baby when they are working? |
| If you don't feel up to doing the research, enlist a | | | | These are just some of the things you might ask. |
| friend or family member to do it with you or for you. | | | | You can think of more questions on your own. |
| You will be happy you did! | | | | Remember that the adoption agency will also 'clear' |
| The Adoption Agency - First, check references on | | | | the prospective adoptive parents by interviewing |
| every adoption agency you consider. Be sure that | | | | them, visiting their home, etc., but the questions you |
| they provide the services and support they SAY | | | | will ask are meant to give YOU peace of mind and to |
| they provide. | | | | allow you to get to know these people on a more |
| A good agency will provide support for the mother in | | | | personal level. |
| the form of counseling services. | | | | The final and crucial question you have to ask |
| Second, look into the financial arrangements. Adoption | | | | yourself and the prospective adoptive parents is |
| agencies often fund prenatal care and delivery | | | | about visitation rights and how and when they will tell |
| expenses if you have no insurance. And they may | | | | their adopted child about his/her biological mother. Do |
| offer financial assistance for you during your | | | | you WANT to see the baby after the adoption? |
| pregnancy, as well as legal expense funding for the | | | | How large a part do you intend to play in his life? Be |
| adoption proceeding. | | | | sure that you understand how YOU feel about this |
| Make sure the adoption agency you choose offers | | | | and how the adoptive parents will accommodate |
| you plenty of options for the adoptive parents. You | | | | those feelings, and agree on a plan upfront so there |
| want to interview them, just as they want to | | | | are no misunderstandings. |
| interview you and you want to have choices. | | | | If you THINK you may change your mind about your |
| Interview the adoption agency before you make a | | | | involvement, talk to them about how they will feel if |
| decision and be sure they don't pressure you to | | | | you suddenly decide you want to participate in your |
| make the choice they think is right. Find out how | | | | child's life at a later date. |
| much time you have to decide on the couple you | | | | Remember that the United States supports open |
| want to adopt your baby. | | | | adoption proceedings. No longer do adopted children |
| The Adoptive Parents - Before you start to talk to | | | | and biological mothers spend decades looking for |
| prospective adoptive parents, sit down and make a | | | | each other. |
| thorough list of everything you want to know about | | | | Records are open and the child, the adoptive parents |
| them and the environment in which they will raise | | | | and the biological mother are free to handle the |
| your baby. | | | | logistics of these visits. Still, disagreements can arise |
| If you have trouble getting started on this list, | | | | and it is important to know your legal and moral |
| imagine that you are interviewing them for a job | | | | rights before you engage in any agreement. |
| opening. If the job opening is for a 'parent' what skills | | | | All that said, the adoption decision for the biological |
| would you expect them to have, what qualities and | | | | mother remains yours and yours alone. It is not a |
| characteristics? | | | | decision to be taken lightly. Consider your options and |
| For example: What is the home environment like? Will | | | | your obligation to yourself and your unborn child and |
| the adopted child have his own bedroom? Does the | | | | seek counsel from those you trust the most. |