| The first thing you need to know and believe is that | | | | general. You would need to find out what types of |
| adoption is possible. This must be a strong belief | | | | children are available to adopt and what are the |
| because adoption is a process. It can seem | | | | different ways you could adopt. Some of the options |
| complicated, time consuming and frustrating. Although | | | | are support groups, state adoption specialists, and |
| each year the process becomes a little bit easier | | | | information packets from the state that you live in. |
| because of the many resources available to help | | | | Once you have contacted an agency to help the first |
| prospective adoptive parents learn about | | | | thing that will happen is a home study. A home study |
| adoption.You will hear many horror stories and myths | | | | consists of gathering information about the |
| like adopted children are troubled. There is absolutely | | | | prospective adoptive couple including educating the |
| no truth that adopted children have more problems | | | | couple, preparing them for adoption, and interviewing |
| than birth children. Parenting is more about bonding, | | | | the couple. This process can take from 2 months to |
| love and trust than about biology. In fact some | | | | 10 months, depending upon the particular agency. |
| parents who adopt a child may be more successful | | | | This is due to different training requirements and |
| than parents that are able to have biological children. | | | | waiting lists for individual agencies. It is important to |
| This is due to the fact that the adopted parents | | | | study the requirements for your state because that |
| have made a decision to bring a child into their life | | | | will determine the requirements that all adoptive |
| which is not always the case with biological families. | | | | parents must meet before being considered as |
| Also, biological parents may have children for the | | | | adoptive parents.As soon as the home study is |
| wrong reasons. They may have children to continue | | | | finished it is time to start the placement process. At |
| the family name or to please members of the family. | | | | this time a child will be chosen who may fit in with |
| This is where life can be unfair.An adoptive couple | | | | the family. The time it will take to adopt a child at |
| must go through a process and be screened to see | | | | this point will of course vary. This depends on the |
| if they will be good parents. This can cause | | | | type of adoption that is being considered. For |
| frustration to many adoptive parents as their whole | | | | example, a private adoption will require a lawyer. If |
| life is scrutinized to see if they will be approved to | | | | an agency is being used the family may be one of |
| adopt a child. Meanwhile there are no requirements | | | | many families that is picked by the expectant |
| for biological parents before they become parents. In | | | | parents. Then there is a foster care adoption. This |
| fact the unfairness of it all can be boiled down to | | | | type of adoption gives the family information about a |
| one question that is asked of the adopted parents. | | | | number of children who are waiting for a good home. |
| Why do you want to become parents? Most | | | | It may also provide an opportunity to get to know |
| adoption agencies want to hear from prospective | | | | the child before they are placed with a family |
| adoptive parents that their main reason for wanting a | | | | because these children are allowed to receive visits |
| child is a general liking of children. Meanwhile the | | | | from prospective parents. Also, if a child is taken into |
| answers that come from biological parents range | | | | the home as a foster child, generally the family will be |
| from: I don't know, a general liking of children, to | | | | able to adopt the child once the child is available for |
| continue the family name, or to please other people | | | | adoption. Finally, there is international adoption. At this |
| in the family.The process of adoption gives adoptive | | | | point the family may receive a referral. A referral is a |
| parents time to consider why they want children. | | | | child that is waiting to be adopted internationally. The |
| This is another difference between biological parents | | | | referral will contain information about the child and |
| and adoptive parents. There is no doubt that | | | | give the prospective parents a chance to learn about |
| adopting a child will bring different stresses than | | | | one specific child. Generally, the parents are asked to |
| parents who have the opportunity to form families | | | | read the information and wait 24 hours before |
| by birth, but the extra stresses do not mean extra | | | | making a decision. Also, all adoptions must be finalized |
| problems.The process begins with asking questions. | | | | in court.The last and most important step is when a |
| What is important to you when thinking about | | | | child is adopted. Now the work and rewards begin. It |
| adopting a child? Do you want a boy or a girl? Do | | | | is time to parent the child. Many families may need |
| you want an infant or an older child? Would you | | | | support during the first year. It can take 6 months to |
| consider a special needs child? Do you realize some | | | | a year for a child to become comfortable in a new |
| of the difficulties that may arise when raising a child? | | | | home. Many times adopted children are passed from |
| Then you must also consider your lifestyle now and | | | | one home to another and have no security in their |
| how a child will fit into that lifestyle. Couples who | | | | lives. Generally all of these children will go through |
| have waited a long time to have a child may have | | | | two stages. The first is the honeymoon phase where |
| formed friendships with other couples who do not | | | | the children do not seem to present many problems. |
| have children. They must realize that their entire life | | | | The second is the testing phase where children will |
| will change as their child will have to come first. This | | | | do things to anger the parents to see if they will be |
| will definitely be a new experience. There will be | | | | rejected once again. Slowly, the family will become |
| times when it is convenient to have a child and other | | | | more cohesive. The children will relax and be able to |
| times when it is not so convenient. .Let's say that | | | | let their guard down and become children. Then, one |
| you have now have answered these questions and | | | | day out of the blue the child will express his love to |
| want to go forward and adopt a child. The next | | | | the parents and that is when the rewards really |
| question is to find out what your options are. At this | | | | begin. |
| point you would need to read about adoption in | | | | |