Use Caution When Considering a Fully Open Adoption

A "fully open" adoption is one in which the birthon the age of the child, he or she may not really
mother has ongoing visits with the child after theunderstand why that happens.
child has been adopted and is being raised by theirThe solution may be to provide semi open adoption.
adoptive family. In the past fifteen years or so, fullySemi open adoptions allow the adoptive parents to
open adoptions have become more common as ameet and get to know the birth mother before the
result of proponents of fully open adoptions pushingbaby is born. Photos, letters and updates can be
the idea on birth parents and adoptive parents. Someexchanged on a regular basis, so that there is
people believe that having the open relationshipcontinued contact and the ability for the child to
benefits the children.meet the biological parent(s) someday if that is what
Some adoptive parents-to-be are scared by the ideahe or she chooses to do. In this situation, the child
of a fully open adoption, and there are a number ofhas access to the documents, photographs, family
birth mothers who have fears about ongoing contact,history, and letters from the birth parent(s) when he
as well. There are no studies that prove that ongoingor she may want to look at it but the child would
contact between birth parents and a child that hasnever be forced into spending time with the biological
been adopted is really in the child's best interest, andparent.
many adoption professionals actually don't feel a fullyIf you have been thinking about adopting a child, but
open adoption is the best solution.the idea of a fully open adoption scares you, you do
It is likely that an adopted child would benefit greatlyhave options. Just be sure that the adoption
from having information available to them, things likeprofessional you choose to work with and hire
photographs, health histories and possibly letters fromunderstands your preference and is willing to work
their birth parents. If an older child requests to meetwith you under a semi open adoption arrangement. If
his or her birth parent, every effort should be madeyou like the idea of a fully open adoption, perhaps
to arrange the meeting - but to force a fully openwork it out so the terms of the agreement always
adoption on a child who may not even desire to havetakes into consideration the child's needs and wants.
ongoing contact with the birth parent(s) does notFor example, you could agree to visits for the first
seem to be beneficial or in the best interest of thethree years of the child's life, or until the child is old
child. Adoption agreements are typically arrangedenough to understand, and leave it open to
before the child is even born - how can you know atreevaluate based on the reaction and needs of the
that point if the child needs or wants to haveadopted child. It's impossible to predict what the child
ongoing visits with the birth parents in the years towill prefer beforehand, so having this type of
come?adjustable agreement allows you to make a decision
Some children may experience confusion and upsetbased on the child rather than on what the birth
over ongoing visitation with the birth parent(s). It canparent(s), adoption professional or adoptive family
be upsetting to have to say goodbye to yourmay think is the best decision.
biological parent over and over again, and depending