| Five years ago, I received an unexpected
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| | here in the States - an Elvis Presley
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| invitation from the Department of
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| | wedding in Las Vegas, no less! Although
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| Education in the Far East of Russia.
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| | I had the honor of giving away the bride
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| They wanted me to come for a visit so
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| | because her dad had passed away, I was
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| that we could talk about using
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| | thinking, "How am I ever going to explain
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| distance-learning technology in their
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| | Las Vegas and Elvis Presley to Tatiana?"
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| remote orphanages.
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| | I didn't have to worry. It turns out that
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| As background, the DOE in Russia is
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| | we send a lot of programming to Russia,
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| responsible for the 3,000,000 orphans
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| | ranging from TV shows like Jerry Springer
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| that live in their many orphanages.
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| | to most of our Hollywood productions like
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| Unfortunately, the reason they were
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| | the Governor Schwarzenegger movies. I
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| considering the distance-learning project
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| | thought how interesting it must be to
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| turned out to be quite a sad story. They
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| | learn about Americans this way.
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| were hoping that by providing more
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| | As fate would have it, the betrothed
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| education to the orphans, it would help
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| | couple called off their wedding the day
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| break a continuing cycle that seemed to
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| | before the event, and just as Tatiana's
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| plague the orphanages. Former orphans,
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| | flight was landing. However, that too was
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| who were now young married adults, were
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| | only another part of God's hand at work.
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| abandoning their own children when they
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| | Embarrassed by her long trip here, I
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| found themselves unable to earn enough
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| | asked Tatiana if she would like to stay
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| money to support their families. They
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| | and go with me to Disneyworld in Florida
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| were just not prepared for the harsh
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| | - to a convention where I was speaking
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| realities of life. Moreover, without
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| | the following week. She smiled and
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| family members around to help them, their
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| | agreed, and then asked if she could
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| babies were now appearing on the
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| | contact a family there that had adopted
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| orphanages' doorsteps, in hopes that the
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| | three children from her. "Of course!" I
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| kids would have a better chance for
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| | said enthusiastically, and I suggested
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| survival. As crazy as this might sound,
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| | that we take their whole family to dinner
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| these impoverished adult orphans are the
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| | on the Disney property.
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| lucky ones. An even sadder reality is
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| | That little dinner date turned out to be
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| that less than 50% of all Russia's
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| | yet another powerful insight into this
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| orphans will live to see their 20th
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| | wonderful woman. They say kids only show
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| birthday. Suicides, failures to thrive,
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| | honest emotions. Well let me tell you,
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| severe medical conditions - untreated due
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| | when they saw Tatiana coming through the
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| to strained budgets or access to medical
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| | doors of the restaurant, they ran to her
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| treatment - and a host of other problems
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| | and jumped into her arms, yelling,
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| has made for a very fragile existence.
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| | "Tatiana...Tatiana!"
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| As we sat in the office of the Director,
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| | I thought what a wonderful feeling it
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| all of us knew that more education wasn't
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| | must be to know how much she had helped
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| the entire solution. We clearly
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| | these children, and this loving couple.
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| understood that the absence of a loving
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| | Even more, what a fairy tale it must be
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| family to guide, encourage, love and
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| | for the kids! How could they have ever
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| nurture these children was still the core
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| | imagined moving from their orphanage to a
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| issue. However, all of us hoped that by
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| | home near Disneyworld!
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| giving the orphans more access to
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| | Many hugs, tears, and laughs later, I was
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| knowledge and education that it would
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| | feeling more and more moved by the
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| help to better prepare them for life,
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| | wonderfully fulfilling life that Tatiana
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| after they left the orphanages.
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| | had created for herself. How could I have
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| After these preliminary discussions, I
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| | allowed my priorities to get so out of
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| was off to see the children firsthand. A
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| | 'whack' with the truly important things
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| wonderful physician by the name of Dr.
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| | in life? Why did I choose the career to
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| Tatiana Khoudoyarova was my guide as I
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| | which I ended up devoting my life? And
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| visited the orphanages. She was both a
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| | why did no one tell how much needed to be
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| pediatrician and the Chief Allergist in
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| | done in this world?
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| charge of the health for many of the
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| | In the end, I decided that everything had
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| children in the Far East of Russia. More
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| | to happen the way it did, or I would have
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| importantly, she was also the only person
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| | never met this beautiful woman. Even
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| that knew enough English to speak with me
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| | more so, I would not have had the ability
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| about the issues during the trip! She
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| | to take the next steps that were now
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| turned out to be a delightful person, and
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| | becoming clearer and clearer.
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| it was a joy to have her accompany me on
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| | The memories from that trip were very
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| this adventure. When she got around the
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| | powerful, and deeply etched in my mind.
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| children, I couldn't help but smile. She
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| | Adding to these memories is the guilt of
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| laughed with them, hugged them tightly,
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| | taking Tatiana away from the children.
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| and spun them around in circles when they
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| | She was helping over 100 orphans find a
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| came to greet her. They clung to her
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| | home every year. Moreover, there was the
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| legs from the time we got to the
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| | memory of that first time I walked up to
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| orphanages until we left.
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| | one of the playpens at the orphanage. It
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| Over the nine days I was there, Tatiana
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| | was so crowded with the little ones. It
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| and I talked about many of the
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| | seemed like there were 20 three-year olds
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| misconceptions between our countries. I
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| | inside a space made for two. Splotches
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| told her that many Americans believed the
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| | of green ointment covered the children to
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| children were kidnap victims, and that
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| | keep them from infecting one another.
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| these kidnappings fueled a lucrative
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| | They looked like they had been in a paint
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| adoption market aimed at American
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| | ball fight.
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| families, anxious to adopt. She told me
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| | It was when I walked up to the edge of
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| that many people in Russia think that the
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| | the playpen, that those innocent babes
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| Americans are 'buying' their children to
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| | broke my heart for eternity. They all
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| kill them for their organs! The Cold War
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| | lifted their little arms up in the air!
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| has done so much to color our opinions of
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| | All they wanted was for me to pick them
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| each other. Now, law after law adds even
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| | up and hold them. There was no way I
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| more barriers to adoption, as both
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| | could have prepared for that moment. How
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| countries seek to insure the safety of
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| | could such a simple human need, be so
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| the children.
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| | rare a gift for these kids? I wanted to
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| Although I could see that these worries
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| | take all of them home with me. My
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| were without much basis, I remained
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| | emotions erupted, and tears filled my
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| optimistically skeptical. After all,
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| | eyes. There were just so many children
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| didn't we all build bomb shelters here
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| | and so few caregivers. One of the
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| when these people were our mortal
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| | caregivers had only a few more months to
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| enemies? About 3 days into my journey
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| | live herself. She was stricken with a
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| across the beautiful remote areas of the
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| | terminal cancer, but she wouldn't even
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| Far East, I saw something that really
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| | stay home to care for herself. Who would
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| troubled me. When I walked out into the
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| | hold her babies?
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| hallway, I saw Tatiana giving money to
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| | It's just not possible to forget what I
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| the caregivers at one of the orphanages.
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| | saw there. How could so many children be
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| Hearing all of those stories about
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| | lost and forgotten in our world? Then I
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| under-the-table-payoffs in Russia, I
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| | wondered which ones might have given us
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| assumed the worse. How could people who
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| | the cure for cancer. I wondered which
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| were looking after these beautiful
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| | ones might have brought us to the brink
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| children make money from their misery?
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| | of new discoveries or thinking. How
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| When I finally confronted her, I found
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| | could finding them a home not be the
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| out more about this woman in a couple of
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| | primary focus for all of us on the
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| minutes, than I ever could have found out
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| | planet?
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| in a lifetime of misinformation. There
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| | The thought that will haunt me forever is
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| was a simple and "amazingly kind" reason
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| | that the only difference between them and
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| behind the money changing hands. It
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| | us is the luck of birth. Everything that
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| turns out that the caregivers were
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| | I considered important dissolved in those
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| telling Tatiana that the little girl had
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| | 10 seconds in front of that playpen.
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| come down with an ear infection. Tatiana
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| | Tears fill my eyes every time I think
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| was giving the caregivers a prescription
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| | about those babies. To make matters
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| - and her own money - to buy the
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| | worse, I kept putting myself in their
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| necessary antibiotics for the little
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| | place. I wondered what it would feel
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| girl. All this was because her adopting
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| | like if I were always the one turned down
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| parents from America were coming to pick
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| | by the visiting couples. Was it the way
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| her up in a week. They were all worried
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| | I looked? Was it something I did wrong?
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| that if the couple saw that the little
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| | What would life be like if I was unable
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| girl was sick that they would refuse her
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| | to make a living? Would I do what 40% of
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| and ask for another child.
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| | these kids do and turn to crime,
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| Tatiana said that this sort of thing
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| | prostitution and the Russian Mafia?
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| happened a lot, especially when there
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| | Would I fall victim to some fanatical
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| were so many kids to choose from in their
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| | terrorist group who offered me food and
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| orphanages. She said many parents were
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| | work in exchange for some day having to
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| very worried that they were getting
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| | blow myself up for their God? Maybe this
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| children with "special needs" that they
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| | was the best I could hope for - if I were
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| might not be able to deal with. She told
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| | in their shoes.
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| me that this was a healthy little girl,
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| | So who should solve this horrible
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| who didn't deserve to have her life
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| | problem? According to the estimates of
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| turned upside down because of a temporary
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| | the adoption world, there are over 500
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| and easily cured illness. She was
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| | million children without homes. When
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| simply embarrassed that there wasn't
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| | will we give these children their lives
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| enough money available to treat these
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| | back? A good friend answered those
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| kids, and she didn't want me to know.
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| | questions for me. He simply said, very
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| So seeing that I was okay with all this -
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| | slowly, "If not now, then when? If not
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| even sympathetic and supportive - she was
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| | you, then who?"
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| more open about giving out money in front
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| | So now, my life begins anew. Five years
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| of me. It was easy to see how special
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| | later, Tatiana and I have just celebrated
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| she felt about the children. If the
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| | our 4-year wedding anniversary. Seeing
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| orphanages didn't have money for tests
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| | her love and focus has truly changed
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| and drugs, then she would spend her own.
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| | everything in my life. I can no longer
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| Even the caregivers where kicking in
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| | care about "bottom lines..." Instead, I
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| their own meager funds to help. When I
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| | think about how to send "life lines" to
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| asked, she said, "No, they don't
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| | those children that we left behind.
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| reimburse any of us. Anyway, I don't
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| | Now the hard work really begins. I am
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| care about the money. I am just happy to
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| | rapidly shedding my corporate life, and
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| see the children get a family to love
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| | as quickly as possible, I'm taking on a
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| them."
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| | new life dedicated to helping all those
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| Those sweet words dropped all of my
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| | children find a home. As a Christmas
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| remaining barriers. How rare, I thought,
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| | present for Tatiana last year, I formed a
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| to find out that there were people like
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| | nonprofit called The Orphan Foundation.
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| her in the world, and in all places,
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| | We invested in 400 donation boxes, and we
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| Russia. I started to question my own
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| | started putting them out in gas stations
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| values. Had I lost my heart working all
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| | and convenience stores to raise money for
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| those years in the corporate world? My
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| | adopting families. With domestic
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| problems seemed so trivial by comparison
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| | adoptions averaging $19,180 per child,
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| to those faced by these kids.
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| | and with international adoptions costing
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| Tatiana's heart and love continued to
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| | even more, we know we need to eliminate
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| mesmerize me. When it came time to end
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| | or minimize this financial barrier. As
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| my 9-day trip, I just couldn't walk away
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| | we grow our volunteer "donation box
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| that easily. Yes, I was actually falling
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| | managers" across the country, more
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| for her. I never wanted or expected it
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| | donation boxes will bring more dollars,
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| at this point in my life, but here it
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| | and we will be able to help remove this
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| was. Had I not spent this time with her,
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| | heavy financial barrier for many loving
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| I wondered if I ever would have been so
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| | families. It takes a full year, and 35
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| attracted to her in another setting.
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| | donation boxes, in high traffic
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| Well, that really didn't matter now, did
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| | locations, to pay for one domestic
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| it? So I steadied my courage, and
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| | adoption. It takes 50 for an
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| invited her to be my date at a wedding
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| | international adoption.
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