| The landmark day you became parents.... It's pretty | | | | to ask and often provide your birth mother with |
| clear that the day of your adoption was not like any | | | | hope and encouragement about the decision she |
| other day. It's the day you became a mother, your | | | | made. When she sees a happy and healthy picture of |
| husband became a father and your parents became | | | | her birth child, she has confirmation that her decision |
| grandparents. Your life is forever changed and no | | | | was the right one. The occasional visit, if agreed upon |
| other event will ever encompass all you have gone | | | | and handled wisely, can help to balance out the lives |
| through to get to this day. | | | | of each person involved: the birth mother, the child |
| There is also someone else who is a very important | | | | and the adoptive family, and honor the wishes of the |
| person; someone with deep feelings of loss and | | | | person who gave them so very much. |
| sadness. That special person is your child's birth | | | | Should you doubt these truths, seek out some |
| mother, who has gone through a great ordeal to | | | | stories on open adoption, speak to someone who is |
| bring you this day. Without her none of you would | | | | a birthparent, or ask your adoption professional for |
| have come together. All members of the triad will | | | | some references to reinforce your decision to |
| remember this day vividly and with deep emotion. | | | | choose open adoption. Then, honor your birth |
| Sadly, it is sometimes necessary to point out and | | | | mother's wishes, always. |
| remind adoptive parents, or parents waiting for that | | | | You are your child's parents, no doubt. But a birth |
| moment, that these children find their adoptive | | | | mother never forgets the birth of their child. Even if |
| parents after a long and often difficult journey | | | | this child is out of their sight he/she will never be |
| suffered by their birth mothers. We must never | | | | truly be gone from her memory. They were your |
| forget this very important individual who, by strength | | | | child's first mother and because of this, this child will |
| of character, or difficulty in circumstances, or both, | | | | always remain in their memories and in their hearts. |
| opted to give the gift of a child to those who could | | | | Please, take the time to send pictures regularly or |
| not have one. For this reason alone they deserve | | | | when requested. Whatever your agreement is with |
| respect, recognition, consideration, thoughtfulness and | | | | the birth mother, commit to it and follow through as |
| kindness, from those who benefit from their decision. | | | | promised. If you need any incentive, simply look into |
| Letters and pictures, at the very least, are not much | | | | your child's eyes and remember where this started! |