Won Ton or Kreplach? How We Raise Children in Our Chinese-Jewish Family

I always knew my Oriental wife was Jewish; after all,former teachers. Belinda also enjoyed meeting my
she grew up eating Chinese food!I grew up in aaunts and cousins in Rome. These experiences are
Jewish neighbourhood of Montreal. My mother isvery special and memorable to us.While we cherish
Sephardic Italian and my father is a Holocaustboth backgrounds, when we have to choose
survivor from Poland. I speak Italian with my motherbetween them Jewish holidays and observances take
and Yiddish with my father and siblings. My wife,precedence over Chinese holidays and customs.
Belinda Cheung, was born and raised in Hong KongBelinda finds Judaism meaningful and she has learned
and came to Canada when she was 17.I marriedto love it more than Chinese traditions. Judaism is
Belinda in 1999. Our marriage has been workingcentral to us, and it helps imbue our lives with
wonderfully well. Despite our cultural differences, ourmeaning and direction..How did we get to this
worldviews and approaches to life are remarkablyarrangement? From the moment we began dating,
identical. We are busy raising our two young children,we enthusiastically explored each other's cultures
and our lives are meaningful and fulfilling.Picturethrough visiting many ethnic establishments and
frames reflecting both Chinese and Jewish influencesparticipating in various cultural activities. Our goal was
adorn our home. We are keen on learning about eachto broaden our horizons and to take the best of
other's culture. We make a point to learn each other'sboth worlds. However, as my parents were
languages through tapes and books. Although we arevehemently opposed to my dating Belinda because
both fully fluent in English, my wife chooses to speakmy religion prohibits intermarriage, we delved deeper
Cantonese to our children, and I speak Yiddish.into Judaism while also examining other religions. We
Between us, we converse in English. Our childrenread voraciously on different spiritualities. We
identify with their Yiddish and Chinese names, inattended Chinese churches, Buddhist and Taoist
addition to their English names. Our elder son, Ashertemples; took part in Jews for Jesus, Reform,
(age 3), seems to handle the different languages well.Conservative and Orthodox Jewish synagogues and
We make an effort to be consistent in our use ofevents; visited a Sikh Gurdwara, a Muslim mosque;
languages with our children. We expose them to bothand toured Israel for a month. It was a long but
Chinese and Jewish games, as well as Chinese,worthwhile journey. Through it all, we inspired each
Yiddish, Hebrew and English books, songs andother in our spiritual growth, and helped shape each
videos.With an Italian mother and a Chinese wife, Iother's outlook on life. Belinda eventually converted
am likely one of the most well-fed guys on earth! Onto Judaism after more than four years of exploring
Sabbath, my wife often makes "Chinese cholent,"and learning. She genuinely loves Judaism. An
which I thoroughly enjoy. She shops for Chineseimportant reason that my wife and I have adjusted
mushrooms, lotus seeds, ginseng and various kinds ofto each other so well is that we had developed a
Chinese fruits and vegetables in Chinatown. I takecommon vision for ourselves before we got
pleasure in preparing Italian dishes, and we both likemarried.We are now connected to a Torah-observant
Ashkenazi Jewish cuisine. One time, my mother-in-lawcommunity where people are accepting of us and our
assisted with cooking, and we all had an authenticAsian-looking Jewish children. We were forewarned
Chinese meal on Friday night. It was a delightfulby the rabbinical court which presided over my wife's
evening and a pleasant cultural shock to my parents.conversion that there would always be some Jews
Using chopsticks is still a challenge for me, but it onlywho, out of ignorance of Judaism, look down at
makes life more interesting!I am fascinated withconverts and their children as being "not really"
Chinese history, language and culture. Belinda's rootsJewish. Thank God, we have not experienced this
are almost as important to me as my own. I amkind of debasement.We hope that as our children
constantly looking for ways to infuse more Chinesegrow up, they will question, investigate and renew
culture into our lives. Even my favourite ties displaytheir commitment to our Jewish heritage, and also
ancient Chinese scripts and I often wear them onrespect and honor their Chinese roots. That they will
Sabbath. The Chinese and the Jews have a lot incarry their Jewishness into their own relationships and
common in their ethical teachings.We keep a kosherraise their children with healthy and life-affirming
diet and celebrate all Jewish holidays, including thevalues and practices.This article originally appeared on
holy Sabbath. We are grateful that my parents, mya member of the Media Network.Author of Chicken
Chinese in-laws, as well as our secular relatives andSoup with Chopsticks: A Jew's Struggle for Truth in
friends, are respectful of our Jewish observances. Myan Interfaith Relationship. Discover more at Botwinik
brother-in-law, who is Protestant, had joined us ongrew up in a culturally rich environment, speaking five
several occasions and experienced Sabbath andlanguages. He attained a Master of Arts degree in
Sukkot (Festival of Booths), and even had a taste ofPolitical Science from McGill University in Montreal. He
matzah on Passover. We give lai-si (red packetsworked for Toronto's Welfare Department for
containing money, decorated with characters andseveral years, before landing a job with the
drawings symbolizing luck and wealth) to our childrenCorrectional Service of Canada. Jack's experience in
on Chinese New Year.We may catch a dragon boatdealing with destitute and under-privileged people, and
race during the Dragon Boat Festival, or play withhis re-examination of his religious heritage, significantly
Chinese lanterns around the August Moon Festival.altered his outlook on life. In addition to speaking in
When we are sick, we seek medical treatment andpublic, and appearing on radio and TV, Jack helps
advice from both Chinese and Western doctors. Lastcouples in interfaith dating relationships by listening
year I had the opportunity to meet many of myand talking to them one-on-one. Jack enjoys spending
wife's relatives and childhood friends in Hong Kong, astime with his wife and young children.
well as to visit her schools and converse with her