| As a mother of six adopted children (both babies and | | | | dogs, and we had put our dog down there. She |
| older children) I know how confusing adoption can | | | | never even went into the basement! You will want |
| be, and how many questions you might have. It is | | | | to know what to expect from the home study. |
| like taking on an entirely new journey with no one to | | | | If you are considering adopting older children, you |
| show you. the way You are excited, but anxious and | | | | must realize this is an entirely different situation than |
| apprehensive as to what is coming next. | | | | adopting a baby. I noticed my girls (three of them) |
| You need information first on where to go. There | | | | had some antagonism toward me, which was lacking |
| are many agencies across the country , and some | | | | in the boys. The adoption worker told me that this is |
| even cover international adoptions. We got three of | | | | very common. Possibly because boys lack the |
| our children from the state adoption agency in | | | | "maternal instinct" and don't feel as strongly as girls |
| Massachusetts and two from the Catholic Charitable | | | | do about their mothers' having placed them for |
| Bureau. You want to find out what agency you | | | | adoption. So they have less resentment toward the |
| should go to. Some charge more than others, | | | | "mother figure" in their new family. |
| promise you the world, and put you through a third | | | | If you are interested in international adoptions, |
| degree. You don't want to have to put up with the | | | | chances are you will have more questions, including |
| added aggravation, so agency selection is important. | | | | travel requirements, what to pack, exactly what this |
| You want to be able to evaluate different agencies, | | | | "journey of a lifetime" requires. An experienced |
| and make your own decisions. You want to find the | | | | agency should know what to tell you in this regard. |
| states with agencies which are the most "adoption | | | | I often thought it would be nice to have someone |
| friendly". | | | | leading us by the hand. Someone who has "been |
| You need to understand the application process, and | | | | there and done that", combined with other |
| how the home study works. I remember the first | | | | professionals who could answer all of our questions. |
| home study we had, we had a small house with a | | | | Wouldn't it be great to have a network so you |
| basement which was prone to flooding. The day | | | | wouldn't feel so isolated? Our first adopted child was |
| before it had rained continually, so the basement was | | | | a five months old boy, and we waited nine months |
| covered with water. We thought we would never | | | | for him. (I couldn't have done better myself!) |
| pass the home study under those conditions! We | | | | The very best of luck in your adoption journey. It is |
| borrowed two or three fans and let them run all | | | | an experience like no other, and I am so glad I |
| night, hoping against hope the basement would dry | | | | completed that journey six times! |
| out. Luckily the home study worker was afraid of | | | | |