| Several million children in the United
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| | established.
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| States today are adopted and there is
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| | In many families the main problem
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| little doubt that adoption presents
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| | encountered centers on the simple fact
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| parents with a unique challenge. However,
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| | that the child is adopted and this can
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| like everything else in life, if you meet
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| | often place an artificial barrier between
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| this challenge head on and overcome it
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| | the parents and the child which the
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| then the rewards can be very great
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| | parents themselves erect. Many parents
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| indeed.
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| | wrestle for years with the problem of
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| There are currently some 128,000
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| | whether they should tell their child that
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| adoptions in the United States every year
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| | he or she is adopted and, if so, just
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| and, while this figure may seem to be
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| | when they should tell the child and how.
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| small, over the years this means that
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| | Many parents also fear that telling the
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| about 1%, or several million, children in
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| | child may damage the relationship which
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| the United States today are adopted.
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| | they have spent many years establishing.
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| No two parents' experience of adoption
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| | The truth of the matter is that biology
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| will be the same of course but, for many,
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| | has very little to do with parenting. If
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| adopting a child is a long and difficult
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| | you tell your child that he or she is
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| process, both in practical terms and
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| | adopted and this results in difficulties
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| emotionally, but it is also the
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| | then, more often than not, this has much
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| fulfillment of a dream.
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| | more to do with your role as parents than
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| Thankfully much of the stigma formerly
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| | it does with the fact that the child is
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| associated with adoption has now
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| | adopted.
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| disappeared, which is of considerable
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| | Keeping the fact that a child is adopted
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| help to both adopted children and
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| | a secret can also present very real
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| adoptive parents. Nevertheless, bringing
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| | dangers because if children discover
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| up adopted children can still present
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| | unexpectedly that they are adopted,
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| parents with some unique and very
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| | especially if this knowledge comes from
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| challenging problems.
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| | somebody other than an adoptive parent,
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| In many cases the problems presented by
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| | this can often cause considerable
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| raising an adopted child are very real,
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| | emotional upset which can be extremely
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| but often they are more imaginary than
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| | difficult to remedy.
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| real. Take for example the problem of
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| | The bonds that develop between children
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| heredity in relation to medical problems.
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| | and their parents can develop very
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| Just how important is it to know that
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| | quickly and can become very deep and this
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| your child might be at greater risk from
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| | is equally true whether we are
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| certain medical conditions? Statistically
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| | considering the bonds between parents and
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| of course the chances of this happening
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| | their natural children or adopted
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| are low but, even if your child is at
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| | children. Indeed, there is an argument
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| risk, what are the real consequences of
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| | that the bonds which develop between
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| this? With good medical care and regular
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| | children and their adoptive parents can
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| checkups most problems will be picked up
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| | be especially strong as the simple fact
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| and dealt with and whether or not the
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| | that a child is adopted sends a strong
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| child inherited the condition is often
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| | message to the child that he or she is
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| largely irrelevant.
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| | both loved and wanted.
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| Previous bad parenting, and especially
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| | While there is no doubt that adoption
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| abuse, in an older child on the other
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| | does present some unique challenges for
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| hand can present very real problems for
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| | parents the rewards from parenting an
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| adoptive parents, although it is often
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| | adopted child can be immense and, as with
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| surprising just how small a part past
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| | anything in life, the fact that you have
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| experiences play in a child's life once
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| | to work a little harder for something
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| he has settled into his new home and a
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| | makes the joy of success that much
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| reasonable level of trust has been
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| | greater.
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