| Did you ever wish you could be "immunized against | | | | Children die or are never born at all. Car accidents |
| depression?" The best immunization is a correct | | | | happen. Jobs are lost. Houses are foreclosed on. |
| understanding about the way life works. And that's | | | | Businesses fail. Marriage is hard. Most of the world |
| what's in it for you! Read on. When things go wrong, | | | | doesn't have enough food and clean water much less |
| I used to wonder, "What did I do to deserve this!?" | | | | universal health care, paid medication and retirement |
| And somehow I slipped, in times past, into believing | | | | checks. I am blessed. This year I am focusing on |
| we all have a "right" to some of life's blessings. In | | | | thankfulness, gratitude, and appreciation. I am |
| fact, the government is busy convincing Americans | | | | choosing to look on the bright side, dwell in the |
| that the "right to pursue health and happiness" as | | | | positive, and to find creative ways to make |
| emphasized by the founding fathers was really a big | | | | lemonade out of lemons. This is why the book (which |
| mistake, and that Americans have a "right to health | | | | I co-authored) "Parenting Children with Health Issues" |
| and happiness." Just forget that pursue business! But | | | | means so much to me and brings me such joy. I am |
| the fact is, we don't have an inherent right to | | | | doing something positive with the most difficult |
| anything, and the founding fathers had it right. And | | | | challenge of my life: having two children with cystic |
| we don't "deserve" better! Don't get me wrong! I'd | | | | fibrosis. Instead of being depressed about having two |
| like to believe I deserve better and I'd like to believe | | | | kids with cystic fibrosis and all of the heartache and |
| I have a "right" to all sorts of goodies. But just | | | | headache that entails, I am lucky that they are in my |
| because "I want it" doesn't make it true. This | | | | life at all, that they are so wonderful and adorable |
| mentality, that "I deserve" something, is what gets | | | | and that we live in America with the best healthcare |
| folks into trouble every time they buy into it. I have | | | | in the world. Instead of being upset about my |
| realized that it's the "I deserve" mentality that sent | | | | husband's recent job re-org and pay cut, we are |
| me spiraling into a depression when my kids were | | | | thankful to have a job at all in this massively |
| diagnosed with cystic fibrosis. I was so caught up | | | | messed-up housing market (he works for a |
| with "I deserve" that when I didn't get what I | | | | homebuilder). Instead of griping about the changes in |
| deserved (healthy children and happily-ever-after), I | | | | our insurance and prescription plans that make us pay |
| became depressed, resentful and borderline bitter. "If | | | | more plus have more hassles, I am grateful we have |
| I deserved it, why didn't I get it?" and "That's not | | | | insurance at all. I am thankful to have an incredible |
| fair. Why does everyone else get it?" And on and on. | | | | business partner and meaningful work that inspires |
| I have come to realize that the "I deserve" mentality | | | | me despite the day-to-day challenges. I am grateful |
| keeps me emotionally stuck. I end up focusing on | | | | that I have a wonderful family despite all of our little |
| what I don't have (and of course deserve) rather | | | | idiosyncrasies and hang ups. I am blessed. Do I |
| than focusing on being thankful for what I do have. | | | | deserve it? Not a bit of it. Am I grateful for it? You |
| When things don't work out the way "I deserve" | | | | betcha. Even when the kids are sick, the house is a |
| them to, then I get upset, angry, resentful or | | | | mess and the finances running tight. This new year, I |
| depressed. After all, don't I deserve a happy life, | | | | am focusing on turning my burdens into blessings. |
| healthy kids, a successful career, a good marriage, | | | | That's what's in it for me....... And that's what's in it for |
| the support I need with the kids, and a nice car just | | | | you! (Reprinted with permission from Parenting |
| like all of those advertisements and fairy tales say I | | | | Children with Health Issues by Foster W. Cline, M.D., |
| do? Well, no.... The truth is: No one owes me anything | | | | and Lisa Greene.) |
| and I really don't deserve anything, either. Why is it | | | | The book "Parenting Children with Health Issues" is |
| the job of the universe or karma or fate or God to | | | | by Foster W. Cline, M.D., child psychiatrist and |
| give me anything? Everything I have is a gift, a | | | | co-founder of Love and Logic (Love and Logic) and |
| blessing; not something that I was entitled to. | | | | Lisa Greene, mother of two children with cystic |
| Because, in the end, we are entitled to nothing. | | | | fibrosis. |