| Life is full of choices. And when you
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| | important decisions that must be
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| make the big choice to begin your journey
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| | considered when crating an adoption plan.
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| to parenthood through adoption, you will
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| | Adoption Openness.
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| be faced with what seems like an unending
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| | One very important decision to consider
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| volley of life-changing choices.
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| | and discuss before the urgency of an
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| As you enter into a search for an adopted
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| | adoption birth situation is your
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| child, you enter into a new and
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| | "Adoption Openness Tolerance".
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| unfamiliar world that will tax your
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| | Open adoptions have many levels of
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| emotions, your intellect, and your vary
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| | "openness". But they all have one thing
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| concept of happiness. You place yourself
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| | in common; there will be some level of
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| at risk to be as emotionally high as you
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| | communication with the adopting parents
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| have ever been, and as emotionally low as
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| | and the birthparents.
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| you could ever imagine.
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| | Here is a simple differentiation of
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| You will be thrown into a world of
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| | various levels of openness for adoption.
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| challenging legal issues that are complex
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| | As an adopting parent, you should
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| and changing; laws that differ from state
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| | consider the degree of openness you are
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| to state, from state to federal, and from
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| | willing to accept and will be willing to
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| country to country. You will be faced
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| | live with. This decision will be with you
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| with moral dilemmas and uncertainties
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| | for the rest of your life!
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| whose answers will draw upon your very
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| | "Closed Adoption": sharing only written
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| personal truths and values, from the very
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| | information that won't identify the
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| depths of your soul.
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| | people involved, with no contact after
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| Have I scared you away yet?
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| | placement.
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| I sincerely hope not. Because as hard as
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| | "Restricted Open Adoption": sharing
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| this process can be, the reward is very
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| | pictures or letters through a third party
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| much greater. Of course the reward is
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| | before the adoption is finalized, with no
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| PARENTHOOD! After all, as the old saying
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| | direct contact between the people
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| goes, "It wasn't meant to be easy."
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| | involved.
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| And as Tom Hanks' character said in the
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| | "Semi-Open Adoption": Allowing a meeting
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| movie, "A League of Their Own", "The hard
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| | that preserves anonymity between birth
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| is what makes it great!"
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| | parents and adoptive parents prior to
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| So, as hard as this process can be, you
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| | placement. Birth and adoptive parents may
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| can make it through if you have the right
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| | exchange letters, pictures or gifts for a
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| mental preparation and planning. Creating
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| | pre-determined length of time.
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| an adoption plan will help you navigate
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| | "Fully Disclosed Adoption": Allowing
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| through the uncertainties of this
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| | birth parents and adoptive parents to
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| process.
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| | meet and share identifying information
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| Your goal for sticking to it through the
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| | for a limited time.
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| hardest of times is to create your own
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| | "Continuing Fully Disclosed Adoption":
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| Adoption Plan that will inject a
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| | Allowing birth parents to visit the
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| semblance of control into an otherwise
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| | adoptive family throughout the child's
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| uncontrollable journey.
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| | life.
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| An Adoption Plan will:
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| | Use this checklist to see how "open" you
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| * Help you prepare for the ups and downs
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| | are willing to go.
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| of the adoption process.
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| | _ One-way information (one party has
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| * Allow you to make important decisions
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| | non-identifying information on the other
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| about your "adoption tolerance" well in
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| | party).
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| advance, rather than during the urgency
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| | _ Both parties share non-identifying
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| of a birth situation. This will prevent
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| | information.
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| hasty, poorly considered decisions.
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| | _ Birthparents select adopting parents
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| * Allow you to gain a sense of security,
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| | from biographies, adopting parents
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| reducing your fear and anxiety as you
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| | receives a letter, diary or journal from
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| move through this process. You will have
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| | the birth mother for the child.
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| considered well ahead of time, the
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| | _ Pictures, letters, etc. shared between
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| best-case scenarios, the worst-case
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| | the adopting parents and the Birthmom.
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| scenarios, and scenarios in between.
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| | _ A phone conversation is held before or
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| And most importantly, you will have
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| | after the birth.
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| already decided how you will handle the
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| | _ A taped message is offered from the
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| fun decisions, and how to handle
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| | adopting parents and/or Birthmom
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| potential problems.
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| | _ Meet each other with out identities
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| Making Adoption Decisions for your Plan.
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| | shared.
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| As you begin your search for a birthmom
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| | _ Meet each other with identities shared.
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| of your future adopted child, there will
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| | _ Meet with the child present.
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| be many decisions that must be made. Many
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| | _ Birth mother allowed to visit the child
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| of these decisions will be gut-wrenching,
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| | throughout its life.
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| heart-wrenching, and life-changing.
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| | It is wise to proceed with caution when
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| Because of the importance of these
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| | moving forward with higher levels of
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| decisions, it is critical that you make
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| | openness. If you have difficulty with
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| them without the pressure of a looming
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| | this decision, or have difficulty
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| adoption birth situation.
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| | agreeing on your tolerance, consult your
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| In this article, we will analyze a few
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| | agency and/or adoption attorney.
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