| When is the right time to move from
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| | We have suffered seven pregnancy losses.
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| infertility to adoption? When do you
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| | We have experienced infertility,
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| emotionally feel ready? Will you ever
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| | miscarriages, a fetal demise, and a tubal
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| feel ready and must move forward with
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| | pregnancy with twins. In between the
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| other ways of creating your forever
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| | losses, we did have one full term birth
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| family! Mardie Caldwell, through her
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| | of our daughter. It is a hard call. I
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| personal experience and over 20 years of
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| | have always told my adoptive parents that
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| working with couples nation-wide, has
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| | they need to work on creating their
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| made it her life's work to bless children
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| | family, and if they want to try
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| needing forever adoptive parents.
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| | infertility treatments while trying to
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| How do couples decide to move forward in
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| | adoptive parents, they should. I just
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| adoption as opposed to doing donor embryo
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| | couldn't imagine using birth control when
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| or IVF?
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| | trying to adopt after all the effort of
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| We just had our third try with IVF with
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| | attempting to get pregnant, and I've
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| my own eggs. Our doctor told us that I
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| | never felt I should ask my prospective
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| was a poor responder and the quality of
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| | adoptive parents to do something I
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| my eggs is not good. He said our only
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| | wouldn't do.
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| options are either with donor embryo or
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| | Just a few years ago my OB-GYN gently
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| adoption. I am just trying to work
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| | said to me, "Mardie, why are you doing
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| through the loss of both a dream and of
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| | this to your body?" in reference to all
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| the babies we fertilized and trying to
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| | the pregnancies and then losing them. I
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| decide the best direction for us. I still
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| | know he just didn't understand the desire
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| have such a passionate desire to "carry
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| | to give it one last try. A few months
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| life" in me, but I am not sure if that
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| | later he discovered pre-cancerous cells
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| will go away once I start the adoption
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| | in my uterus, and I underwent a
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| process or adopt. Does it? My fear with
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| | hysterectomy shortly after that. Knowing
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| trying donor embryo is if it doesn't
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| | I would never carry a child again was
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| work, can I take another "failure" after
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| | difficult.
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| all our losses. My fear with adoption is
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| | Even with my "oven" (or as my daughter
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| that it might take years or the adoption
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| | calls it her "first home") gone, I still
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| might keep falling through. My only
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| | have moments when I experience "signs of
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| experience with adoption is a co-worker
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| | pregnancy" and forget it is not possible
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| with an older child adoption that has not
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| | for me to carry a baby. After so many
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| been good. I realize there is no
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| | years of wanting and trying and planning
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| guarantee with either path, but it is
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| | for babies, old habits are hard to break.
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| such a difficult decision, I am curious
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| | I counsel prospective adoptive mothers to
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| as to what led other adoptive parents to
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| | pray that if God doesn't want you to be a
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| their decisions.
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| | mother, He would take the desire away.
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| Mardie's reply:
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| | For me, the desire didn't leave me, and
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| We decided that it was more important for
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| | we adopted our son. You need to be honest
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| us to be parents than to be pregnant. My
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| | with each other and find a medical
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| biological clock was ticking, and we had
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| | professional whom you can trust. The
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| to decide what we wanted most in our
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| | chances of success in adoption are so
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| family.
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| | much greater than with infertility
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| We moved from infertility to adoption and
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| | treatments. When comparing the cost of
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| then after our first adoption of our son,
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| | infertility treatments and the cost of
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| we tried some mild infertility treatments
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| | adoption, you will discover more help in
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| again. We didn't have a lot of money to
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| | financing and grants for adoption than
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| do extensive infertility drugs or
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| | infertility. Though the emotional ups and
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| procedures.
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| | downs are about the same, they vary
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| So, we decided that adoption was right
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| | depending on the adoption route you take.
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| for us. The decision to adopt came
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| | Needless to say, when you look down at a
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| surprisingly easy to both of us. We
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| | child in your arms and those beautiful
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| always wanted to adopt someday regardless
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| | eyes are peering back up at you, and you
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| of whether or not we had any biological
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| | know you are a mom-well, that is
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| children. So, it was a true blessing for
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| | priceless.
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| us.
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| | I always say - Don't give up; there is a
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| The desire you mentioned about "carrying
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| | baby for you!
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| life" inside of you is natural, and I
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| | Mardie Caldwell, C.O.A.P. is a speaker
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| think most women desire to conceive and
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| | and award-winning author of two books,
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| see their pregnancy go to term and
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| | Adopting Online and Adoption: Your
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| deliver a healthy baby. I still had that
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| | Step-by-Step Guide. Mardie is also the
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| when we adopted. I don't necessarily
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| | talk show host of Let's Talk with Mardie
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| think it wrong to have that feeling.
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| | Caldwell.
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