| When considering emancipation, parent and
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| | they may become outcasts. How is that to
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| child alike must enter into the process
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| | be dealt with?
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| with open eyes and minds. More than
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| | As any parent knows (and most children
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| merely understanding the issue, each must
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| | eventually learn) life is complicated -
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| be prepared for the consequences of their
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| | sometimes unfair, sometimes frustrating,
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| action and the influence exerted by
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| | there are no guarantees, never is it
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| friends, family and others.
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| | always blissful. If parent and child
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| Parents have a responsibility, to which
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| | enter into the emancipation decision with
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| they indirectly agree when having a
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| | open eyes and without anger, it can work
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| child. That responsibility is to care for
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| | and everyone can win.
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| and support that child until he/she is
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| | If however, one or the other (or both)
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| able to responsibly manage his/her own
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| | parties are selfish in their reasons for
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| affairs. Parenting is a difficult
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| | seeking emancipation, it is most probably
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| undertaking and requires sacrifice,
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| | not going to turn out well.
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| long-term commitment, and financial
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| | Here's a hypothetical situation to
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| resources.
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| | consider: a child, 15 years old seeks to
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| This is not to say that parents have to
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| | be emancipated from her sick, drug using
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| sacrifice their own well being in
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| | mother. There are other children in the
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| deference to their children, but
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| | family and the 15 year old has been
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| obviously, parents (responsible parents)
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| | "taking care of the family" for some
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| have experience, good judgment, and
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| | time. She doesn't want to do it anymore
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| resources that enable them to guide their
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| | and wants to be emancipated.
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| children to adulthood.
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| | How should this play out? On the one
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| Children have responsibilities to their
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| | hand, the 15 year old is completely
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| parents, too. Children are expected to
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| | ignoring the fact that her mother needs
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| respect their parents, follow reasonable
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| | her. She may not be receiving thanks or
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| rules, and be considerate and courteous
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| | experiencing appreciation, but that
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| towards their parents and other adults.
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| | doesn't diminish the need or her value to
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| Often, this is where the problems arise
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| | her mother.
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| which lead child and parent to consider
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| | Also, there's an issue regarding the
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| emancipation as an option.
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| | other children, what happens to them if
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| Although these aren't legal
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| | the 15 year old becomes emancipated and
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| responsibilities per se, they are still
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| | moves out? Would she take them with her?
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| valid. There are also legal issues that
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| | I don't think so.
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| can pit child against parent. For
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| | Doesn't the 15 year old have some
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| example, a child may refuse to attend
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| | responsibility towards her mother? I'm
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| school, repeatedly play "hookie," disrupt
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| | sure society believes she does. Perhaps
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| the classroom, or engage in criminal
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| | the 15 year old would be better off
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| activity (drugs, theft, etc.). These
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| | assisting her mother get help by
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| kinds of problems can be extremely
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| | contacting the appropriate social
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| difficult for parents to deal with and
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| | services agency rather than abandoning
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| literally tear families apart.
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| | her family. Were she to leave the family
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| Parents can become angry and frustrated
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| | and something catastrophic were to
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| with children; children become
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| | happen, how would she feel? Interesting
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| frustrated, resentful and angry at
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| | questions, aren't they?
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| parents. The result: the home life is
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| | Suppose, however, we look at the above
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| chaotic. Children want out from under
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| | situation from a different perspective
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| control of their parents and parents
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| | and see things as the 15 year old might
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| throw up their hands is despair and want
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| | see them. Perhaps this girl has coped
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| the problems to disappear but don't know
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| | with this situation as long as she can
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| how to make it happen - emancipation is
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| | and is unable to continue living her life
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| seen as the simplest solution.
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| | this way. Maybe it's in the best interest
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| The most important question to answer
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| | of her very survival that she distances
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| regarding emancipation is: why
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| | herself from the situation.
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| emancipation? Clearly, the obvious
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| | By her seeking emancipation, it could
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| advantage of emancipation is that it
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| | bring attention to the problems in the
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| separates child and parent. But, at what
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| | home and so bring about positive change.
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| cost? That's the family or values side of
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| | In order for her to be granted
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| the issue that so often is left out.
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| | emancipation status there would have to
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| Following emancipation there may be child
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| | be some social services involvement and
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| regrets or parent regrets or both.
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| | they would see that the girl's mother
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| Fortunately, emancipation is not like a
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| | needs help. The result could be that the
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| restraining order. Parents can still help
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| | girl becomes emancipated - which is good
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| their children, after emancipation, and
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| | for her; and, the girl's mother would get
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| children can ask for and receive their
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| | the help she needs - which is good for
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| parents help.
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| | her and the other children in the family.
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| Emancipation is just one option that
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| | I hope the above example points out how
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| children and parents have available.
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| | complicated these issues can be and how
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| Out-of-home placement, foster-care, and
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| | very important it is to examine them from
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| relinquishing custody to state/county
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| | all angles. The human, family, values
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| agencies are other options that might
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| | side of emancipation is far from easy,
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| provide solutions. The one advantage of
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| | yet is vitally important to understand
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| these option is that they are usually
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| | fully.
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| less permanent than emancipation.
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| | Guilt, anger, regret, survival, and
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| In addition to being able to answer the
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| | happiness - the emotional aspects - can
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| question: why emancipation, both parents
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| | make emancipation a sticky issue. Parents
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| and children must be willing to live with
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| | may come to second-guess their decision
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| the consequences of their decision. As
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| | years later. Children will surely come to
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| mentioned earlier, emancipation should
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| | a new understanding of their parents and
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| never be considered without a clear
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| | parenthood as they become more
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| understanding of all rights,
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| | experienced in life. Keeping the lines of
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| responsibilities, and liabilities. To do
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| | communication open and not burning any
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| otherwise is courting disaster.
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| | bridges can go a long way towards making
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| So what are others going to think when a
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| | emancipation a win-win option.
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| child is emancipated? Friends, immediate
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| | Whether emancipation serves its intended
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| family and distant family will question
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| | purpose all depends upon how the
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| the decision and put immense pressure to
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| | emancipation decision is made and whether
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| bear on parents. Questions will arise as
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| | all ties are severed or not. In many
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| to the ability of the emancipated child
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| | cases continued parental involvement will
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| to manage his or her affairs.
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| | be invaluable to the emancipated child.
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| How will these not-so-objective
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| | Parents have a lot to offer their
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| bystanders be handled? It's going to be
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| | children. Children, as most of us parents
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| extremely tough for parents to counter
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| | must learn to live with, often don't come
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| the belief that they are shirking their
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| | to appreciate their parents until later
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| parental responsibilities.
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| | in life. Responsible children that grow
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| Likewise, it is difficult to convince
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| | up to become responsible adults learn
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| others that the parents have tried
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| | that their parents weren't so bad after
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| everything in their power to salvage the
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| | all.
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| relationship. What's more, there are also
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| | Life is continually throwing curves and
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| religious, and possibly cultural
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| | it's impossible to hit home runs every
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| considerations.
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| | time at bat! Parents need to keep trying
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| Just as marriage is considered a
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| | and children need to be forgiving. If
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| permanent union, so families are
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| | that happens, many problems will be
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| considered permanent as well in some
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| | resolved without having to resort to
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| religious and cultural groups. Thus, if
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| | emancipation.
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| parents and child embark on emancipation,
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