| In over 21 years of working in the field of | | | | |
| adoption, I have seen and heard of every kind | | | | " If you have paid a woman posing as a birth |
| of blunder you could imagine in adoption. | | | | mother or one that was considering adoption |
| Some were made out of ignorance and others | | | | and you just thought it would be ok to pay a |
| out of stubbornness, flat out stupidity or | | | | few expenses behind your adoption |
| just procrastination. | | | | professional's back, learn from this. In some |
| | | | states expenses are illegal and you don't |
| It is my hope that by sharing some of these | | | | want to do anything to jeopardize your |
| embarrassing mistakes with you, you won't | | | | adoption finalization. When in doubt, ask. |
| fall prey to them and your adoption journey | | | | |
| will be void of these and filled with more | | | | " I am surprised at the number of adoptive |
| peace and calm without guilt or regrets. Here | | | | parents that put off doing their home study |
| are the five most common adoption blunders: | | | | and miss opportunities or forget to update |
| | | | their home study. They find out it is going |
| 1. Not reading your adoption agreement or | | | | to cost more to get it done when they needed |
| contract | | | | it done "yesterday". If you have a home study |
| | | | that was completed more than 12 months ago, |
| 2. Making decisions from your heart and not | | | | contact your home study provider to see when |
| your head and heart together. | | | | it expires, and document this in your |
| | | | calendar. If it is expired - inquire on the |
| 3. Going against the recommendations of your | | | | home study update process and cost, and then |
| adoption professional regarding money to a | | | | make a point of getting it down within 30 |
| birth mother. | | | | days. |
| | | | |
| 4. Putting off getting your home study | | | | " If by chance you have forgotten to stay in |
| complete | | | | touch with your birth mother, now is the time |
| | | | to consider: where you would be without her? |
| 5. Going back on your word regarding contact | | | | I know I would not be a mommy without my |
| with a birth mother after your adoption is | | | | children's birth mother and because of that I |
| final. | | | | want to always respect both our agreements |
| | | | and their privacy. Take time today to send a |
| If you have already made these blunders, you | | | | letter to your birth mother or to your |
| can correct your directions and still find | | | | adoption professional to forward. A simple |
| peace. Here are some solutions: | | | | card with a photo or note letting them know |
| | | | they are thought of and special is a way to |
| " If you have a contract you have not read, | | | | say thank you for making your family. It is |
| you can correct this by reading it now, if | | | | not taking away your role as parents, it is |
| your adoption is not complete. Ask questions | | | | respecting your child and how they came to be |
| of your adoption professional. It is not too | | | | yours through their first family. You will |
| late! | | | | be blessed by honoring your commitment. |
| | | | |
| " If you have already made decisions with | | | | I hope this has helped you and that you will |
| your heart and have heartache to show for it- | | | | find knowing what to avoid will help you in |
| learn from it and next time, take a deep | | | | your adoption and beyond. God Bless you in |
| breath and look at all sides of a situation | | | | your adoption. |
| before you jump in or commit. | | | | |