| In over 21 years of working in the field of adoption, I | | | | thought it would be ok to pay a few expenses |
| have seen and heard of every kind of blunder you | | | | behind your adoption professional's back, learn from |
| could imagine in adoption. Some were made out of | | | | this. In some states expenses are illegal and you |
| ignorance and others out of stubbornness, flat out | | | | don't want to do anything to jeopardize your |
| stupidity or just procrastination. | | | | adoption finalization. When in doubt, ask. |
| It is my hope that by sharing some of these | | | | " I am surprised at the number of adoptive parents |
| embarrassing mistakes with you, you won't fall prey | | | | that put off doing their home study and miss |
| to them and your adoption journey will be void of | | | | opportunities or forget to update their home study. |
| these and filled with more peace and calm without | | | | They find out it is going to cost more to get it done |
| guilt or regrets. Here are the five most common | | | | when they needed it done "yesterday". If you have |
| adoption blunders: | | | | a home study that was completed more than 12 |
| 1. Not reading your adoption agreement or contract | | | | months ago, contact your home study provider to |
| 2. Making decisions from your heart and not your | | | | see when it expires, and document this in your |
| head and heart together. | | | | calendar. If it is expired - inquire on the home study |
| 3. Going against the recommendations of your | | | | update process and cost, and then make a point of |
| adoption professional regarding money to a birth | | | | getting it down within 30 days. |
| mother. | | | | " If by chance you have forgotten to stay in touch |
| 4. Putting off getting your home study complete | | | | with your birth mother, now is the time to consider: |
| 5. Going back on your word regarding contact with a | | | | where you would be without her? I know I would |
| birth mother after your adoption is final. | | | | not be a mommy without my children's birth mother |
| If you have already made these blunders, you can | | | | and because of that I want to always respect both |
| correct your directions and still find peace. Here are | | | | our agreements and their privacy. Take time today |
| some solutions: | | | | to send a letter to your birth mother or to your |
| " If you have a contract you have not read, you can | | | | adoption professional to forward. A simple card with |
| correct this by reading it now, if your adoption is not | | | | a photo or note letting them know they are thought |
| complete. Ask questions of your adoption | | | | of and special is a way to say thank you for making |
| professional. It is not too late! | | | | your family. It is not taking away your role as |
| " If you have already made decisions with your heart | | | | parents, it is respecting your child and how they |
| and have heartache to show for it- learn from it and | | | | came to be yours through their first family. You will |
| next time, take a deep breath and look at all sides of | | | | be blessed by honoring your commitment. |
| a situation before you jump in or commit. | | | | I hope this has helped you and that you will find |
| " If you have paid a woman posing as a birth mother | | | | knowing what to avoid will help you in your adoption |
| or one that was considering adoption and you just | | | | and beyond. God Bless you in your adoption. |