Avoid These 5 Adoption Blunders!

In over 21 years of working in the field of adoption, Ithought it would be ok to pay a few expenses
have seen and heard of every kind of blunder youbehind your adoption professional's back, learn from
could imagine in adoption. Some were made out ofthis. In some states expenses are illegal and you
ignorance and others out of stubbornness, flat outdon't want to do anything to jeopardize your
stupidity or just procrastination.adoption finalization. When in doubt, ask.
It is my hope that by sharing some of these" I am surprised at the number of adoptive parents
embarrassing mistakes with you, you won't fall preythat put off doing their home study and miss
to them and your adoption journey will be void ofopportunities or forget to update their home study.
these and filled with more peace and calm withoutThey find out it is going to cost more to get it done
guilt or regrets. Here are the five most commonwhen they needed it done "yesterday". If you have
adoption blunders:a home study that was completed more than 12
1. Not reading your adoption agreement or contractmonths ago, contact your home study provider to
2. Making decisions from your heart and not yoursee when it expires, and document this in your
head and heart together.calendar. If it is expired - inquire on the home study
3. Going against the recommendations of yourupdate process and cost, and then make a point of
adoption professional regarding money to a birthgetting it down within 30 days.
mother." If by chance you have forgotten to stay in touch
4. Putting off getting your home study completewith your birth mother, now is the time to consider:
5. Going back on your word regarding contact with awhere you would be without her? I know I would
birth mother after your adoption is final.not be a mommy without my children's birth mother
If you have already made these blunders, you canand because of that I want to always respect both
correct your directions and still find peace. Here areour agreements and their privacy. Take time today
some solutions:to send a letter to your birth mother or to your
" If you have a contract you have not read, you canadoption professional to forward. A simple card with
correct this by reading it now, if your adoption is nota photo or note letting them know they are thought
complete. Ask questions of your adoptionof and special is a way to say thank you for making
professional. It is not too late!your family. It is not taking away your role as
" If you have already made decisions with your heartparents, it is respecting your child and how they
and have heartache to show for it- learn from it andcame to be yours through their first family. You will
next time, take a deep breath and look at all sides ofbe blessed by honoring your commitment.
a situation before you jump in or commit.I hope this has helped you and that you will find
" If you have paid a woman posing as a birth motherknowing what to avoid will help you in your adoption
or one that was considering adoption and you justand beyond. God Bless you in your adoption.