| The Pediatrician's Role in Adoption | | | | After starting the adoption process, a pediatrician can |
| Mardie Caldwell COAP | | | | be an invaluable asset to you. If you are able bring |
| Daniel and Megan felt drawn to the little dark-haired | | | | the medical and mental health records of the child to |
| child they had seen in the orphanage half way around | | | | your pediatrician, they can explain specific issues to |
| the world, but they felt they had more questions | | | | you. Often you will have a list of all the diagnoses |
| than answers. "Where do we start?" Megan asked as | | | | that have been assigned to your child. A pediatrician |
| we spoke on the phone. The adoption agency | | | | can explain them in terminology that you can |
| needed an answer and they felt frozen in their fear. | | | | understand and discuss possible long-term problems |
| After receiving guidance and answers from other | | | | of particular disorders. For example, if a child has a |
| adoptive parents who had the same questions as | | | | diagnosis of Attention Deficit Disorder, your |
| Daniel and Megan, they soon brought home their little | | | | pediatrician can explain behaviors that are typical and |
| daughter. Megan shared later how the advice to seek | | | | problems other parents have had in dealing with their |
| a pediatrician early in the process helped them learn | | | | children. |
| what to expect in their adoption and to have a | | | | Your pediatrician will also model some language |
| realistic view of the challenges they might face. Now, | | | | choices that you may not have thought of |
| 6 years later, they have adopted two more children, | | | | previously. For example, most pediatricians will refer |
| another girl and a boy from the same country. | | | | to all the siblings in a family as brother or sister not |
| When considering adoption, parents should always | | | | 'adopted brother' or 'adopted sister.' Pediatricians are |
| consult a pediatrician. Pediatricians with knowledge of | | | | careful not to say 'natural parent' when speaking of |
| the special needs of older children or international | | | | the child's birth parent. The term 'natural parent' |
| adoptions can be a wealth of information regarding | | | | implies that you are then the 'unnatural parent.' |
| issues that may arise with your adoptive child. They | | | | You must be comfortable talking openly with your |
| can provide vital data before the adoption, help with | | | | pediatrician about all issues relating to the adoption of |
| the decision making while in the process of adoption, | | | | a new member into your family. If you do not |
| and assist with on-going issues after the adoption. | | | | already have a family pediatrician, ask other adoptive |
| Discussing your plans to adopt with a pediatrician will | | | | parents for recommendations and then interview |
| give you much needed information about mental and | | | | several different pediatricians to find one that seems |
| medical needs that your adoptive child may have. | | | | to best fit you and your family. Difficult questions |
| Your pediatrician can explain some problems common | | | | may be hard for you to ask but will probably reveal |
| to newly adopted children. They may discuss issues | | | | the most important information to you. For instance, |
| of attachment, loss, and grief that adoptive children | | | | you may hear that a child you wanted to adopt is |
| often go through. Your pediatrician may also discuss | | | | going to have a lot of issues that you don't think you |
| physical and medical issues that your adoptive child | | | | can handle. By discussing those issues openly, you will |
| may be facing. Meeting with your pediatrician before | | | | be able to prepare yourself fully for the adoption of |
| you start the adoption process will bring medical and | | | | your child. Or, after discussing the possible issues, you |
| mental health issues to light that you possibly were | | | | may decide that this child is not right for you. Do not |
| not aware of before. Such a meeting helped Megan | | | | be afraid to ask a lot of questions. Your pediatrician's |
| and Daniel decide to adopt two more children. They | | | | job is to help you be the best parent you can be. |
| gained knowledge and confidence, and their fear was | | | | Of course, your pediatrician will be of extreme help |
| minimized. | | | | to you throughout your child's life. |