| How will I tell my parents? Will my boyfriend leave | | | | Jesus Christ, I am worthy in Gods eyes. Scriptures |
| me? Will I have to drop out of school? What will my | | | | such as Matthew 18:12-14, Luke 15:7, 11-32, and Psalm |
| friends say? What will the church think? Should I | | | | 103:102 were very helpful to me as I began to work |
| have an abortion? Is abortion wrong? Will I make a | | | | through repentance, forgiveness, and restoration. |
| good parent? What about my future? They are all | | | | Forgiveness will also be difficult for the adolescent's |
| common questions that are when a young girl | | | | family. Her parents inevitably will feel loss, anger, |
| becomes pregnant out of wedlock. She already | | | | betrayal, and lost trust. Most likely, they will feel as |
| knows that she has made a big mistake. Now she | | | | though they have failed as parents. They are normal |
| and her family need a counselors help in putting the | | | | feelings. Parents need to grieve their losses and then |
| pieces of her life back together. Over one million | | | | choose to forgive as Christ forgives us for our sins. |
| teenage pregnancies occur each year in the United | | | | My mother grieved throughout my pregnancy. It is |
| States. Approximately 40% of the girls choose | | | | significant to me, however, that her love for me |
| abortion, 50% choose to parent, and 10% either | | | | looked past her pain and made her strong enough to |
| miscarry or choose adoption. Regardless of the | | | | be a comfort and support to me during a very |
| choice that a young girl makes, there will be pain and | | | | difficult time in my life. |
| loss for her as well as for her family. Consider the | | | | Focusing on the Present Need: Although forgetting |
| three specific areas where a counselor can assist: | | | | past dreams and finding forgiveness are essential |
| forgetting past dreams and plans, forgiving self and | | | | parts of the healing process, the will be issues for |
| others, and focusing on the present need. | | | | months or maybe years to come. The pregnant |
| Forgetting Past Dreams and Plans: An adolescent girl | | | | teens most Important task is to focus on her |
| dealing with an unplanned pregnancy must forget her | | | | present needs, particularly Immediate medical care. |
| past dreams and plans and set new goals for her | | | | Studies show that pregnant teens receive only half |
| future. If she parents her child, she will be forced to | | | | the level of medical care and treatment that older |
| gave up things that other teens take for granted. | | | | women receive. The pregnant teen will have to |
| She will sacrifice new CDs, clothe is, movies, prom, | | | | decide whether to choose parenting, abortion, or |
| and make-up in order to save money for diapers, | | | | adoption. Her counselor should be educated on all |
| daycare, and formula. She may graduate later than | | | | options. Many girls who choose abortion are |
| her classmates or maybe not at all. She will be forced | | | | traumatized because no one prepares them for the |
| to get a job but may still need welfare and food | | | | experience. Her counselor should share with her the |
| stamps. Choosing to parent her child will have a | | | | different types of abortion and the risks involved, |
| significant Impact on her future. Although abortion or | | | | but try to discourage this option as it can be the |
| adoption will not have such an Immediate Impact on | | | | most devastating. Since at least 50% of pregnant |
| the girl's life, it will completely change her future. She | | | | teens choose to parent, counselors should help their |
| will feel pain and loss on her child's birthday or the | | | | clients understand the huge responsibility of parenting. |
| anniversary of her child's abortion and on holidays | | | | For example, by helping a client develop a detailed |
| when her child is not there. She may also have | | | | budget, a counselor can help a teenager become |
| difficulty adjusting to future pregnancies and | | | | more aware of how much money it takes to a child. |
| parenting. She can never go back to where she was. | | | | Lastly, counselors who deal with pregnant teens |
| In order to move forward, the girls must forget past | | | | should read up on the most recent adoption laws. |
| dreams and start over. Sometimes, the ones hardest | | | | Open adoption is the current trend and can be the |
| hit are the family members of the pregnant teen. | | | | best option for a young girl and her child. Parents |
| Parents also have to let go of past dreams for their | | | | often want to make the final decisions for their child's |
| child and realize that life will go on, but it will never be | | | | future. If the child is still very young, parents may |
| the same. A counselor can help them grieve this loss | | | | have to decide for her. However, a counselor can |
| and begin to develop new dreams and realistic | | | | encourage them to respect her feelings. If they do |
| expectations for the future. Parents need to be | | | | not allow her to be a part of the final decision, she |
| encouraged to be practical but not to doubt their | | | | may feel resentful and hold them responsible for the |
| child's ability to move forward and excel. | | | | things that happen in her future. Find a therapist to |
| Forgiving Oneself and Others: Pregnant adolescents | | | | get solution of your problems. |
| also need to work through forgiveness. A pregnant | | | | An unplanned adolescent pregnancy can be traumatic |
| teen must learn to forgive herself and others. I have | | | | for both the adolescent and her family. They will all |
| discovered that this is often more difficult for a girl | | | | need to make adjustments in their lives and look |
| who has been rad in the church. Not only does she | | | | toward the future in a different way. There will be |
| have a hard time forgiving herself for making a | | | | pain for everyone involved for years to come. This is |
| wrong choice, she also has difficulty believing that | | | | a crucial time for the family. A Christian counselor can |
| God can forgive her. She may deal with huge | | | | help them work together to mend broken hearts and |
| amounts of guilt for making choices that are | | | | forgive one another for past failures. Working |
| embarrassing for her, her parents, and her church. | | | | together to deal with the confusion and uncertainty |
| She may also feel cheapened, used (even if the boy | | | | will not only benefit the pregnant adolescent, it will |
| loved her), and unworthy of redemption. It has been | | | | also benefit the grieving family. It will help them as |
| seven years since my pregnancy, yet sometimes I | | | | they begin to put the pieces of their lives back |
| have to remind myself that because of the blood of | | | | together. |