What Price Victory - An Alternative Look At The Adoption Triangle

In the UK, this week is Adoption Week. The oneprocedure, but that it is what it is. In an attempt to
time of the year when all the Organisations andheighten and increase the awareness of Adoption,
Charities involved in all the aspects of Adoption getOrganisations involved tend to couch their terms in
together to try and help raise the awareness ofwarm comfortable phraseology that tends to wash
what Adoption is really all about.over the fact that for every "warm cuddly adoptive
Now in theory this is all "fine and dandy" (to coin afamily" waiting to welcome into their arms "the child
phrase) but as with all things (Adoption is noof their dreams" their will be sometimes be a Birth
different) there are Winners and there are losers.Mother who is going to be forever separated from
Now it may be a crime of immense politicalher child.
incorrectness to look at this way but there really isn'tNow in a great many cases, this entire process is for
any other truthful way of looking at it.the better but in the past the separation of birth
It is called the "Adoption Triangle", the Holy Trinity ofmother and child has quite often been a forced and
Adoption, The three sided equation but in realitypainful one and there are very few Birth Mothers in
there is more.existence today who haven't thought regularly of the
On the surface of it there is just the Birth Mother,child they had and what could, possibly might have
the adopted child and the Adoptive Parents butbeen.
would that it was that simple. In reality the adoptionPeople forget that the role of being a Birth Mother
triangle involves two families in total. On the Birthisn't always filled by the Alcoholic drug ridden
Families side you have the Birth Parents (everyonetypecast incapable young girl, the image so lovingly
tends to forget about the Father), the adoptedplayed upon by some Adoption organisations. Quite
child's siblings (that's brothers and sisters to you andoften the conception and actual birth of a child is a
me) and their Grandparents, Uncles & Aunts etc.complete social disaster for a number of reasons
On the adoptive families side there are an equallysome of which lie beyond the control of the birth
large number of involved personnel (albeit to amother herself. The adoption is a traumatic
different degree) and these all will have in truth someexperience that will leave scars of guilt forever
impact though none fall into consideration when theetched in the psyche of the birth mother herself.
Adoption is processed.It is said that time is great healer but there are some
It sounds cold and clinical to talk of Adoption as ascars and experiences that even time cannot heal.