The Readiness of the Adopted Child

Many consider that children, at an early stage, shouldAdoption Search Specialist after discovering that they
be told that they are adopted. Studies have shownare adopted.
that by the age of three (3), a child is old enough toWhen the child starts asking for the story behind the
understand the story behind his or her adoption.adoption, parents should be honest and gentle as
When telling the story behind the adoption, it ispossible. Offer to help in finding the birth parents if he
important not to criticize the child's birth mother. Theor she decides to search for them. The adoptive
self- esteem of the child builds up knowing that theparents should be counseled and be prepared to
birth mother is capable of loving him or her.accept this kind of behavior from their adopted child.
At the age of six (6), the child is expected to startKeep in mind that the child is not rejecting you for
feeling afraid of being given away for the secondtrying to look for his or her birth parents. Children
time. Parents should expect this kind of behaviorlook for their birth parents not because they don't
from their adopted child. Receiving statements likelove their adoptive parents, but because they long
"You're not my real mother" is expected at this point.for something to believe and feel in order to fit in
At the puberty stage, the child should be given timethis world.
to fully express his or her feelings about beingIt is normal for the adopted child to seek for his or
adopted. Identity crisis usually happens at this ageher birth parents at some point of discovering the
because the child have no idea who his birth parentsstory behind the adoption. Some even resort to an
are]. It is common for them to spend efforts inAdoption Search Specialist, hoping to successfully
tracing records and trying to locate their birthfinding their real parents.
parents. Some even in the latter stage consult to an