| Successful adoptive parents know that timing, | | | | MEASURABLE. |
| planning, and dedication to completing their adoption | | | | A goal without a measurable outcome is just a pipe |
| goal can make its achievement much easier and | | | | dream. You can't achieve a pound of "happiness" but |
| smoother. As with any goal, there are basic steps | | | | you can become a parent. If you call adoption |
| that must be taken to attain the desired end result. | | | | professionals every day for a year for information or |
| Those who have gone before know it takes time | | | | attend weekly support meetings religiously but you |
| and patience and following a concise plan to realize | | | | don't apply some of what you have learned, you will |
| adoption success. | | | | not get anywhere in your adoption. Someone has |
| We all have goals, whether we know it or not. We | | | | wisely observed that, "What gets measured, gets |
| have goals to save for the future or to travel, to | | | | done." Define your goals in terms of time, expense, |
| buy a home or a new car, or to purchase items we | | | | and time willing to dedicate to the process. Then |
| need and want to make our lives more enjoyable. | | | | measure your progress until you achieve your desired |
| And the majority of us want to start a family. | | | | outcome. |
| An important distinction common to those who | | | | 6. Reachable goals are REALISTIC. |
| succeed at adoption is that they are very intentional | | | | To reach your goal, you will need an adoption plan, a |
| in their steps and focused on their goal. Many | | | | path, and a vehicle for getting there. Your goals must |
| prospective adoptive parents look and fantasize | | | | make sense! When you explain them to friends and |
| about adopting but do little to move past that point. | | | | family, your goals should create excitement and draw |
| While it is advisable to do research before moving on | | | | support and encouragement. Your goals should be |
| to adopt, there are many who don't move any | | | | just out of reach, but not out of sight! You want to |
| further to complete what they have started. Fear is | | | | stretch to be your best, not strain after impossible |
| often the culprit. | | | | dreams. Set realistic goals you can and will achieve if |
| Successful adoptive parents know that timing, | | | | you stick with it! More families fall short of this one |
| planning, and dedication to completing their adoption | | | | secret, that is, don't give up and don't slack off in |
| goal can make its achievement much easier and | | | | what you need to do to reach your goal. |
| smoother. As with any goal, there are basic steps | | | | 7. Reachable goals are TANGIBLE. |
| that must be taken to attain the desired end result. | | | | You need to be able to imagine seeing, hearing, |
| Those who have gone before know it takes time | | | | smelling, and holding your child. Go for things you |
| and patience and following a concise plan to realize | | | | know are realistic and that you can clearly visualize. |
| adoption success. | | | | The brain has a hard time going for "someday we will |
| Here are 10 important steps toward a : | | | | adopt a child," but it can visualize a healthy child under |
| 1. Reachable goals are SPECIFIC. | | | | 12 months old! Define your goals in terms that excite |
| To reach your goal of a successful adoption, your | | | | the senses, and then go for it with all your heart! |
| brain must know exactly, and precisely, what you are | | | | 8. Reachable goals are WRITTEN. |
| trying to accomplish. Never state your goal with | | | | To become a successful adoptive parent you need |
| vague terms like "some day I would like to be an | | | | to know precisely what you want because you've |
| adoptive parent" or "in the future I will be an | | | | written it down. Often, the adoptive parent will write |
| adoptive parent" or "maybe we will have a successful | | | | a short description of their goals every single |
| adoption." Be specific! If you want to complete and | | | | morning, as a personal reminder of their priorities and |
| adoption of a newborn within two years, then | | | | their objectives. They do what they must each day |
| specify those exact details. If you want to find an | | | | to achieve this goal, such as working on their |
| adoption professional this month and start the | | | | adoption profile, filling out their home study |
| process, be exact. Your brain can help you | | | | paperwork or making the doctors' appointments for |
| accomplish almost anything if it knows precisely what | | | | physicals. The act of writing down your adoption |
| you are aiming for. | | | | goals vastly increases your chance of doing what is |
| 2. Reachable goals are SIMPLE. | | | | necessary to move closer to your successful |
| Many people describe their adoption goals in ideals | | | | adoption. Write it down! Then keep your notes |
| that are complex and may conflict with each other, | | | | where you can see and read them every day, and |
| i.e., we want a child from our surrounding area who | | | | take a step closer to that goal of a successful |
| looks like us and is born in the summer when school | | | | adoption. |
| is out and of a birth mother with no expenses and... | | | | 9. Reachable goals are SHARED. |
| The list goes on and on. Any one of those things is a | | | | We are far more likely to stick to our adoption plan |
| great goal, but the combination becomes | | | | of becoming an adoptive parent and reach our goal if |
| overwhelming, difficult, and the brain gets confused. | | | | we know our friends and family support us and our |
| If you want to become an adoptive parent of a | | | | plan of a successful adoption. Being part of a group |
| healthy infant, just say so! If you want to keep birth | | | | of people with the same goal increases our |
| mother expenses under $1,000, say so! Keep your | | | | determination, our stamina, and our courage to keep |
| goals simple, clear, and focused. | | | | going. Caution: Never share your goals with anyone |
| 3. Reachable goals are SIGNIFICANT. | | | | who may ridicule, belittle, or discourage you from a |
| No one can muster the enthusiasm, hard work and | | | | successful adoption! The world is full of doubters and |
| courage to go forth in adoption if they don't want to | | | | you have no time for them. Find an adoption support |
| adopt 100%. A successful adoption goal is one you | | | | group, a group of successful adoptive parents and |
| really, really want! It's something that will change your | | | | others who have succeeded and who will encourage |
| life, enhance your family, and fulfill you. It gets your | | | | you every step of the way. Successful adoption |
| energy flowing, gets you up in the morning, and | | | | professionals and adoptive parents count on and |
| keeps you going all day long, because it is important! | | | | confide with others who have the same goal! Too |
| Set adoption goals you feel are worth achieving! If | | | | often family members are unfamiliar with the way |
| your spouse is not ready to for an adoption, the | | | | adoption usually is conducted today and have only |
| chances of success are reduced and it is not fair to | | | | been educated by the media and the fear of |
| bring a child into a family that is not completely | | | | adoption. The truth is that the majority of adoptions |
| devoted to adoption and raising this child. | | | | go through without incident or problems. |
| 4. Reachable goals are DELIBERATE. | | | | 10. Reachable adoptive parent goals are |
| To become a successful adoptive parent you will | | | | CONSISTENT WITH YOUR VALUES. |
| need to know that the best goals accomplish many | | | | One of the biggest reasons people fail to achieve |
| great benefits, all at one time. Adopting will almost | | | | their adoption goals is that they have conflict |
| certainly: (1) Feel great! (2) Be the start of completing | | | | between what is valuable to them and what is |
| your family; (3) Enhance your life forever; (4) Provide | | | | realistic. Do they perceive adoption as rescuing a poor |
| opportunity to share the love you have with a child; | | | | child or as a gift from one person to another? Is a |
| (5) Add a new member to your family; (6) Build | | | | child not of your body as valuable in your mind as a |
| patience; (7) Cause you to view parenting in a new | | | | biological child? Whenever your values and your goals |
| light. | | | | are in agreement, there is no stopping you! Clarify |
| Take the time to describe how adoption will impact | | | | your values first, and then set simple, specific, |
| the many areas of your life. You'll have more reasons | | | | measurable, tangible, written goals that are consistent |
| to move forward toward your goal and more | | | | with those values. You will achieve adoption success, |
| excitement when you do! | | | | every single time! Don't give up, and remember... |
| 5. Your adoption goals must be reachable and | | | | there is a child for you! |