Parenting the Second Time Around

Did you know that today in Ontario, Canada theregrandchild.
are over 65,000 kinship caregivers who are mainlyFinancially, it is very difficult. Many are living on limited
Grandparents? This is a fact. These statistics areincomes. Most have used all of their savings either for
rising to alarming amounts every year. KinshipCourt hearings, appeals, cost of living, clothing, and
caregivers are relatives who have chosen to take onproviding for their child. Some have even lost their
the role of a parent to a child who is left without ahomes. Our government does very little to help. If
parent for various reasons, which I shall explain later.one lives in certain districts of Ontario, she may be
Caregivers are usually Grandparents, aunts, uncles,eligible to receive a small payment of $231 each
sometimes brothers or sisters or other extendedmonth for the child. Have you tried to live on this for
family members. Of the caregivers it is mainly thea month? Not an easy task, but many are doing it
grandmother raising a grandchild. Many of theseevery day. On the other hand, if a Foster care
women have chosen to take on this extraordinarymother has one child placed in her home by Child
role because they have the childs best interest atServices, she receives $900 a month; plus, a clothing
heart and, therefore, do not want to have this childallowance, entertainment allowance and a furniture
go into the foster care system connected toallowance. Is this fair? Certainly not. Many
Childrens Aid Society either as a Ward or as angrandmothers are doing this alone. Many have health
adoptee. You might be asking yourself how is thisproblems, no cars, and barely any outside support.
possible?She most likely has few friends because the ones
A biological child is a child of the grandparent. The bio,she did have, no longer have anything in common
as we call them, have children. The bio may have awith her now and do not want to be around children.
substance abuse problem that does not enable themSuch is the life of a Grandmother today.
to be responsible parents. Some bios have mentalAs a grandmother myself, I am raising my
handicaps. Others are going or have gone throughgrand-daughter. I have had her since she was born 9
divorces. Some have even died. Others areyears ago. To this day, we have had no contact
incarcerated or have suffered traumas. All of thesefrom her mother. The Court gave me full custody of
reasons, and many, many more leave childrenher child because she was not involved as a parent.
without homes, parents, love and nurturing. UsuallyShe abandoned her child. There are many others who
Child Services is involved and they take the child orare in the exact position as I am. But we would not
children into care. This is when the grandparentschange this for the world because we love our
come into the picture. A grandmother will appeal tochildren and we want to see them become
the Court to have her grandchild released in her care.productive, healthy, happy citizens who we hope will
Sometimes this is granted, sometimes not. When thehave a normal life. Yes, we raised our children. And
child is allowed to live with his grandmother, there iswe choose to raise THEIR children. None of us do it
safety, food, shelter and unconditional love. Most offor the glory, the recognition, or the praise. No! We
all, this special child will thrive. The road for Grandmado it because every child deserves to be loved
is not an easy one for as long as she is raising herunconditionally.