| The pain of giving up a child for adoption can be | | | | request an interview. |
| lessened with open adoption. In open adoption, the | | | | Interview |
| birth mother can interview prospective parents and | | | | The birth parent interview with the prospective |
| decide who the birth parents will be. The birth parent | | | | parents may be held at a restaurant with the |
| can be just a single mother or it can include the | | | | prospective parents understanding they are to pay |
| father in the decision-making. Either way, their one | | | | for the meal. The counselor helping the adoption |
| concern is that the baby be placed in an adoptive | | | | process will most likely also be there. This is the time |
| home where it will be well cared for and have the | | | | when birth parents can assess if the family is a really |
| best chances for its future. | | | | good match with more in-depth questions than what |
| The tools birth parents use to evaluate prospective | | | | were given in the phone interview. |
| adoptive parents: | | | | After this entire process, there are a variety of |
| - Resume | | | | factors a birth mother will evaluate in choosing the |
| - Photos | | | | new parents. Many focus on education, religion, and |
| - Phone Call | | | | the stability of the home. They prefer to know that |
| - Interview | | | | their child will have a good chance at being |
| The Resume | | | | well-educated and that the family doesn't move |
| Unlike a job resume the adoptive resume consists | | | | around too often and the marriage is sound. She will |
| less of vital statistics and more of the personal | | | | be anxious to know their views on open adoption |
| attributes and view of life of the adoptive parents. In | | | | and how much contact they will allow her after the |
| it there should be a letter, which should begin "Dear | | | | adoption takes place. |
| Birth Mother" and indicate why the parents are | | | | The deciding factor in all these communications can |
| seeking adoption and their views on open adoption. It | | | | end up being the fact that birth parents are musically |
| should include personal information like the type of | | | | inclined, like the birth mother, or have hobbies and |
| neighborhood, hobbies, relatives, education and home | | | | skills that the birth mother appreciates. It's hard to |
| life. This gives the birth mother a good idea of how | | | | tell what will swing the vote, but mostly both |
| committed the family is to adoption and what types | | | | adoptive parents and birth mother can tell upon the |
| of resources her child will have growing up. | | | | interview if they are a good match without hesitation. |
| Photos | | | | Another set of factors may be the cultural heritage |
| As corny as the old adage is, a picture is still worth a | | | | of the couple or their expressed religious faith. If it |
| thousand words. Close-up photos of the birth parent | | | | closely matches the birth mother's values, the birth |
| are important, but so too are the pictures of siblings, | | | | mother will know her child is being raised in a similar |
| pets, household, neighborhood, and special occasions. | | | | environment to her own. Language barriers may also |
| Here a prospective adoptive couple can get very | | | | be a reason why a birth mother chooses close to her |
| creative in conveying just how wonderful their life is | | | | own culture, plus the understanding that the child will |
| and how they have much to offer an adopted child. | | | | have good roots in a family that can support it, but |
| The birth mother will want to be able to picture her | | | | also roots in its ethnicity and people. |
| child in the happy, loving home of its adoptive | | | | There are many ways a birth parent chooses the |
| parents. | | | | family for her baby. It is a long and involved process |
| Phone Call | | | | but one that can bring a sense of peace to the birth |
| Before a face-to-face interview is scheduled, often a | | | | mother and the joy of a new child to adoptive |
| phone call is set up by the adoption agency or | | | | couples. Establishing good, honest communication |
| lawyer. This is usually a conference call and questions | | | | during the adoption process between the birth parent |
| are sometimes scripted so that all prospective | | | | and the adoptive parents is a skill they will need to |
| adoptive parents get the same questions. If the birth | | | | continue on with a process that can last a lifetime. |
| mother feels there is a potential match, she can | | | | |