| Time for Exercise: 15 minutes | | | | have what he wants |
| Properties Required: none | | | | Admitting when you are wrong rather than always |
| Steps: | | | | trying to win every argument |
| 1. Explain to your partner what your commitment | | | | Asking: "How can I help?" |
| means. | | | | Offering: "Let me do that for you." |
| 2. Give evidence that supports your statement and | | | | Confiding in your lover when you are hurting or afraid |
| shows your commitment. Below are examples of | | | | Admitting: "I don't know." |
| evidence that commitment is real. The items on this | | | | Asking for what you want |
| list are not all required. They are examples to help | | | | Saying "yes" whenever you can, and "no" when you |
| get the exercise going. Each couple will express their | | | | must |
| commitment in their own way. There are no rules | | | | Trying new things together |
| about commitment. The most important thing about | | | | Surviving hardship |
| commitment is that you are in agreement about it. | | | | Trust-for example, when the evidence makes your |
| For example, in some relationships, neither partner is | | | | partner look bad, you know: "That can't be all the |
| ready for 100% commitment. | | | | evidence." |
| Merging of finances | | | | Not putting up with your partner's bullshit, but calling |
| Names on property titles | | | | her on it (in a loving way) |
| Shared bank accounts | | | | Forgiving your lover when he has made a mistake |
| Beneficiaries in wills and insurance policies | | | | Treating him with kindness, respect, and fairness |
| Legal marriage | | | | Comments: |
| Having or adopting children | | | | If you have issues about commitment, share them |
| Sleeping together | | | | with your lover. Explain any fears and doubts you |
| Fidelity | | | | have about your willingness or ability to give your |
| Personal sacrifices on the other's behalf | | | | commitment. Also talk about your intention to work |
| Giving up something you want so your lover can | | | | through these issues together. |