| The humble beginnings of many of our presidents | | | | was a victim of hate and swindle in the last election. |
| helped to get them elected. John Edwards, the | | | | We don't do things like that out in the wild west |
| lawyer millionaire, likes that idea. Did you know that | | | | where a man is a man, not a lying, insidious twerp. I |
| his father was a mill worker. I've studied some of the | | | | went to Yale too, so that certainly qualifies me to be |
| candidates and wrote some suggestions to help them | | | | president. Besides, I've got some medals and they |
| in their presidential campaign. Here they are: | | | | count even if I was against the Vietnam War. I still |
| John Biden: My family were Pennsylvania coal | | | | fought in it. Hey! My rich wife says we can give it |
| miners...caugh, caugh...even my mother had black lung | | | | another go. I'm in this race to win! Please let me run |
| disease just from washing dirty clothes. That's why I | | | | again. |
| was the first member of my family to go to the | | | | John McCain: I didn't have humble beginnings like the |
| university. | | | | other candidates other than that I was born in |
| Hillary Clinton: My father was a shop keeper. He | | | | Panama. But spending all those year in a Hanoi prison |
| worked so hard to put me through Wellesley College | | | | camp did give me time to reflect on those who |
| and Yale Law School. He knew I had to go to Yale or | | | | actually do have humble beginnings and are still |
| I could not be president. They were hard times and I | | | | struggling to succeed. |
| humbly appreciate his sacrifices. | | | | Barack Obama: I was born in Hawaii. My father was |
| John Edwards: My poor family banged around from | | | | pitch black and my mother was starch white. But in |
| place to place until my hard-working father landed a | | | | Hawaii, that was common enough. I am a victim of a |
| job as mill worker in a textile mill. Because of my | | | | split family. When Daddy went back to Kenya and |
| father I studied textile technology in college. That and | | | | Mama went off to Jakarta I was raised by Grandma. |
| my law degree prepared me for the fabric of public | | | | Although my beginnings were not humble I gained a |
| life. Yes, I have a marvelous sense of humor. My | | | | great respect for the poor and did everything I could |
| sweet mother loved me more than the other kids | | | | to help them pull themselves up by their boot straps |
| and she worked her way up to an important position | | | | by providing job training. No, my smile is not glued on. |
| in the United States Postal Service. She should see | | | | Reference: |
| her sort the mail. I was the first one in my family to | | | | Wait! I forgot Mike Gravel of Alaska, Representative |
| attend college. Remember that is very, very | | | | Dennis Kucinich of Ohio, and Governor Tom Vilsack |
| important even though I did not attend Yale. | | | | of Iowa. |
| Al Gore: I was born in an itinerant family, constantly | | | | Mike Gravel: I collected papers from the Pentagon |
| shuffling between Washington D.C. and Tennessee. | | | | and stopped the draft from continuing during the |
| My father worked on a tobacco farm and died of | | | | Vietnam war. Yes, they had to let the draft law |
| lung cancer from picking tobacco. He taught me to | | | | expire because of me. It's boring as hell during the |
| love the sky, the lakes and rivers, the ocean, and | | | | winter here in Alaska. We haven't seen the sun since |
| fast food. I'm grateful to my hard working father. | | | | August. Moving back to Washington D.C. looks good |
| Note that I won a presidential election but it was | | | | right now. So vote for me and get me the hell out of |
| stolen from be by the United States Supreme Court | | | | here! |
| which was controlled by a bunch of Bush Republicans. | | | | Dennis Kucinich: My father was born in Croatia and I |
| You've got to give me another chance! That's the | | | | was born in Cleveland. You can't beat that for |
| American way! Don't forget that you could not be | | | | humility. Ha! Ha! Mother had seven kids. I was the |
| looking that stuff up if it were not for me. I invented | | | | only one that didn't live. Ha! Ha! My father drove a |
| the Internet. | | | | semi. Could your father do that, backing up and |
| Rudy Giuliani: Okay, my parents were not Italian | | | | everything? Ha! Ha!, I'm married for the third time. |
| Immigrants but their parents were--so that counts | | | | God I'm sad! Ha! Ha! |
| doesn't it? My parents did not have nine children and | | | | Tom Vilsack: I'm the only orphan among the |
| eleven great grandchildren as rumored on Long Island. | | | | candidates and was rescued from a Catholic |
| My parents taught me to get up early and not to | | | | orphanage in Pittsburgh by my adopted parents. I |
| sleep in until 9:11 A.M. like grandpa did. I loved baseball | | | | didn't go to Yale or Harvard. I got my law degree in |
| and I loved to go more than 9 innings. My favorite | | | | Albany. So you see, I'm the candidate with the very |
| number was 11. | | | | most humble beginnings. |
| John Kerry: I'm talking to you from Sun Valley where | | | | Well, that should do it!copyright©2007 John |
| I'm resting up for another presidential campaign. I | | | | Taylor Jones, Ph.D. |