| ilies pursuing domestic adoption, there are many | | | | discounted upfront fees with several sources, |
| mistruths that impact their path. In fact, some | | | | thereby reducing your costs even further and |
| families choose to pursue international adoption as a | | | | potentially offsetting your consultant’s fees |
| direct result of misinformation about domestic | | | | altogether. |
| adoption. This article explores and dispels some of | | | | 3) Most birth mothers are teenagers. |
| the more pervasive myths to help pre-adoptive | | | | Most birth mothers that complete their adoption plan |
| parents make an informed choice. | | | | are between the ages of 19 and 30. Many of them |
| 1) I must use a local adoption agency. | | | | are already single mothers who understand the |
| First of all, you don’t need to use an agency | | | | realities and sacrifices involved with raising a child. |
| at all. More adoptions are done in the U.S. via | | | | Adoption is a mature and loving choice that can be |
| attorneys than agencies. But regardless of which | | | | difficult for teenagers who do not fully grasp the |
| source (agency or attorney) you choose, you | | | | responsibilities involved with parenthood. Additionally, |
| must understand that adoption is governed by state, | | | | teens are more likely to be swayed by their parents, |
| not federal, law. Therefore, each state has different | | | | friends, or other important people in their lives. |
| laws. Some are more protective of birth | | | | Therefore, getting matched with a teenaged birth |
| parents’ rights and some are more protective | | | | mother can be a little riskier than being matched with |
| of adoptive parents’ rights. Under most | | | | an older birth mother. Many pre-adoptive parents |
| circumstances, you can adopt a baby from any | | | | who are in their 30’s worry that they will not |
| state, regardless of the state in which you live. As a | | | | be selected by a birth mother because they will be |
| pre-adoptive parent, you should research the laws of | | | | perceived as too old.’ Again, since most |
| your own state as well as nearby states. This can | | | | birth mothers are in their 20’s, this is often |
| help you determine if it’s worth the additional | | | | not as much of a factor as people fear. |
| time and expense to adopt from a state that might | | | | 4) The birth mother can show up on my |
| have better laws than your own. | | | | doorstep and ask for the baby back. |
| 2) I can only sign up with one agency. | | | | If an adoption is done legally, through reputable |
| This is an assumption that most pre-adoptive parents | | | | attorneys and agencies, the adoptive parents have |
| don’t even consciously consider. It is so | | | | full parental rights as soon as the adoption is finalized. |
| ingrained in their thoughts that, in order to adopt, one | | | | Before finalization, many states have a revocation |
| signs up with an agency and waits. In fact, you can | | | | period during which the birth mother can revoke her |
| sign up with as many sources as your budget and | | | | consent. However, many states do not and the |
| organizational skills allow. Many sources have low | | | | consent is immediately irrevocable upon signing unless |
| upfront fees which allow you to greatly increase your | | | | fraud or duress can be proven in court. Given that |
| chances of getting matched with a birth mother | | | | fraud and duress are difficult to prove (assuming that |
| quickly without significantly increasing your | | | | they did not take place), many adoptive parents |
| expenditures. | | | | choose to adopt from states with no revocation |
| With each source you select, your profile will only be | | | | period in order to save themselves unnecessary |
| seen by the potential birth mothers represented by | | | | worry. |
| that source. Therefore, by increasing your number of | | | | There are many factors that go into a |
| sources, you increase the number of potential birth | | | | couple’s decisions regarding adoption. |
| mothers who consider your profile and, thereby, you | | | | Thankfully, many of those factors are |
| increase your chances of getting matched quickly. | | | | straightforward and the pre-adoptive family can feel |
| Additionally, if you choose to work with an adoption | | | | confident in their decisions. |
| consultant, many of them have negotiated | | | | |