Coming Out of the "Birthmom Closet"

I am birthmother to a 41 year old son. Back when Ibirthmother who learns to speak openly about her
was pregnant with him, mine was a shameful secret,experiences.
because only "bad girls" got pregnant. I'm happy toI facilitated a number of local support groups over
say that the world has changed a lot in that respect.the years, both for birthmothers and for adoptees
Girls who become pregnant today face a veryand birthmothers together. Those meetings were
different set of problems than I did. Many girls todayalways healing. There were plenty of tears, but the
even chose to keep and raise their children, antears helped to wash away the shame. For many
opportunity that was not imaginable 40 years ago.birthmoms, myself included, it was extremely healing
Over the last 18 years I have gotten to know manyto talk with adoptees and find out how they felt
birthmothers who relinquished their children in theabout their birthmoms. I personally received a
sixties and seventies. A lot of them found thetremendous amount of support from adoptees, who
support and understanding of other birthmoms, andalways encouraged me to search for the son that I
with time managed to reach a place of peace andhadn't felt I had a right to search for.
acceptance with their past. For women like me, justLook through your local newspaper, and search online
being able to say "I'm a birthmother" and not feelfor support groups in your area. From the first
shamed by that is huge.minute that you connect with other birthmoms, you'll
Over the years, though, I have also come to knowbe so happy that you did. These are women who
or know of many women who gave their children uptruly understand your feelings, because they lived
in secret, and held onto that secret for their entirethrough the same experiences that you did.
lives. Having run an online reunion registry for years, IEven if you find that you don't have any local
have heard time after time about adoptees searchingsupport groups, there are many support mailing lists
for and finding their birthmoms, who then refused toonline, through which you can receive daily emails
have contact because they had never told anotherthat are nearly as healing and helpful as attending
living soul their deep, dark secret. These are themeetings. As you make and nurture the connections
women that I refer to as being in the "birthmomto other birthmoms and to adoptees, you'll find that
closet". They're not happy in there, but they'rethe support and understanding helps to move you
scared to death to come out.along on your healing journey.
These women had a chance to get to know theIf you are a birthmother still holding onto your secret,
children that they gave up and grieved over forand living with the pain every day, I strongly
years, but they refused to do so out of fear. Theirencourage you to take the steps necessary to get
spouse doesn't know their secret. Their other childrenout of that stifling closet that you've been in for so
don't know their secret. In some cases, even theirlong. There really can be healing for you, but it's up
parents don't know their secret.to you to take that first step, and when you've
I suggest that it's time for these scared women todone that, each step after will be a bit easier.
finally come out of the closet. Gone are the daysTo all birthmothers, I wish you healing and peace of
when they had to hang their heads in shame. Workmind, and never forget that you're not alone on this
up the courage to open that door and step out,journey.
because the world is not nearly as painful for a