| Every Picture Tells A Story... Don't It? Besides being | | | | WHAT: Most if us don't go around snapping photos |
| the refrain from a popular song it is the rule you | | | | of ourselves. We have photos of our kids (if we are |
| should follow when choosing photos for your | | | | already parents), we have photos of our pets, our |
| Adoptive Family Profile. Your profile will be the single | | | | wedding, vacations and of our spouse doing |
| most important tool you have when networking for | | | | interesting things. As an interesting side note; family |
| birth parents, and you shouldn't waste a single inch on | | | | photos are always lopsided. When I review photo |
| photos that don't share something significant about | | | | packets from prospective parents I can always tell |
| your family. | | | | who "owns" the camera, one spouse is always |
| When a potential birth parent (PBM) looks at a profile | | | | over-represented! It somehow feels narcissistic to |
| the photos will be the first thing that captures her | | | | take photos of ourselves unless we are on vacation |
| eye. Before she reads a word she will scan the | | | | and standing in front of a landmark. You will need ten |
| photos, and she will already have an impression of | | | | fun photos of you as a couple, and if they are all |
| your family before she reads the opening sentence. | | | | vacation photos a PBM will think you do noting but |
| A birth parent will most likely sit down with a stack | | | | travel. The WHAT list wouldn't be complete without |
| of profiles, pick up the first and flip through without | | | | a list of must haves: photos of your home, a nursery |
| reading. A photo may catch her eye, and she stops. | | | | if you have one decorated, you participating in your |
| She will read the text around the photo and then, if | | | | favorite hobbies, at least six good shots of you and |
| you capture her interest, she will read the profile | | | | your partner; and you having fun with important |
| front to back. A thought to remember is that while | | | | people in your life. An important note, make the last |
| you will be counseled to keep the text of a profile | | | | set of photos of you doing something, not lined up in |
| simple as a PBM may not have had the opportunity | | | | a row smiling. Be baking, be skiing, be working on |
| for education, photos will speak volumes about your | | | | your car, be having fun. Show your style and |
| family without requiring her reading a single word. | | | | interests through these photos! |
| A birth mother's thought process when culling | | | | WHEN: I've reviewed many profiles where the |
| through a stack of profiles is very much like what | | | | photos are old, grainy and have a brown tint to |
| you may do when you visit a bookstore just to | | | | them- a dead give away they are more than five |
| browse. You walk, full of anticipation, to the new | | | | years old. Do not include photos that are of poor |
| releases table. You walk around the table slowly, just | | | | quality. Just don't; no matter how good the memory |
| looking at the covers. A book with an evocative | | | | is that that the photo represents. Old photos make |
| cover catches your eye, and you stop. You pick it | | | | us look old...to a young birthmother she may well be |
| up, and read the words on the cover. The photo or | | | | reminded of photos she has seen in her parents |
| cover design sets the tone, and before you begin | | | | albums. Not a great impression! Your photos ought to |
| reading you know what to expect. You may flip to | | | | represent the current you, not you ten years ago |
| the notes on the author, you may read the inside | | | | and certainly not you as a teenager. |
| cover, or if you are like me you flip the book open | | | | Wedding photos are the most often asked about |
| to the center and read a few lines. You get an | | | | photos, and my answer is almost always NO. Why |
| instant impression about the writing style, tone, and | | | | not? First, our weddings were often years and years |
| feel of the book. Based on this you may choose to | | | | ago, and the photos date us. (The big dress and |
| buy the book, or you put it in the mental "hold" pile | | | | fluffy hair are a dead give-away!) Secondly, what |
| and keep browsing. | | | | does the photo really say about you? As emotionally |
| As adoptive parents when we create our profiles the | | | | attached as we are to our own wedding photos |
| first thing we do is struggle with the text. We read | | | | they frankly all look alike, and the space can be much |
| tons of other profiles, we read books on writing | | | | better used on a candid, fun, lively photo. An |
| profiles, and we labor over the text. We write, we | | | | exception is when your wedding photos are unusual |
| rewrite, we throw it all away and we start writing | | | | in some way, and really tell a story about how you |
| again. At long last we get a draft we are happy with, | | | | live you life. An example is in the profile of a current |
| and then we turn our thoughts to the photos. Text | | | | client: she is a ski instructor, and they skied down the |
| will get perhaps 10-20 hours of your attention, while | | | | hill from wedding to reception. Now that's a story! |
| the process for choosing photos is often thumbing | | | | WHY: This is the most important question to ask. |
| through a stack of photos, pulling out the ones | | | | WHY should I include a certain photo? Remember, |
| where we don't look fat or cross-eyed and heading | | | | your photos should evoke emotion, and looking at |
| out to Kinko's to copy them on a single page and we | | | | the group of them together should give a certain |
| call it a day. | | | | feeling about who you are as a family. Capture fun, |
| Photos count. They count so much, in fact, that they | | | | happy moments on film and your photos will dance |
| ought to get our immediate attention. My advice is | | | | off the page. What a great impression to leave a |
| that from the very second you begin to consider | | | | PBM! Several photos of you and your cousins lined up |
| adoption start getting "candid" photos of yourselves. | | | | in front of a Christmas tree tells a PBM you have |
| Head out to every social event with a camera in | | | | family, and that is about it. Several of these in a |
| your purse and ask people to take a few shots of | | | | profile make it feel like looking through a strangers |
| you both. You will, naturally, hate the way you look in | | | | photo album. (Yawn!) |
| at least half of them, your spouse will hate a few | | | | The bottom line? Gather your photos and your |
| others, and you will eventually have a group of ten | | | | partner, and start asking the hard questions. Watch |
| or fifteen to use in your profile. | | | | for background objects that distract from your |
| When I think about photo selection I break the | | | | photos (beer cans, bra straps etc.), and be judicious |
| process down into WHAT, WHEN, and WHY. First, | | | | with cropping out unnecessary clutter in photos. |
| What are the photos of? When was it taken, and | | | | Photos tell the story of your life, so be thoughtful |
| Why should we include it? | | | | and conscientious in your selection and arrangement. |