| A day to recognize the thousands of women whose | | | | child. |
| adoption choicegive other women the opportunity to | | | | During my quest for an answer, I met with other |
| celebrate Mother's Day. | | | | birthmothers and was surprised at what I heard from |
| It is appropriate that the day before Mother's Day is | | | | them. My family had been emphasizing to me that if I |
| recognized as a day to honor birthmother's. In a | | | | chose adoption, I would then be able to forget, put it |
| world where thousands of children are adopted each | | | | behind me, get on with a normal life. While it seemed |
| year, it is essential to take this opportunity to show | | | | the women had indeed gone on with their lives, no |
| respect for the women who first loved them. While | | | | one was forgetting a thing. I learned from those |
| stories of adoption steal the spotlight week after | | | | mothers that, yes, they did suffer loss, but what |
| week, the birthmother's side is often left untold. | | | | mattered most was that their babies would be |
| This is changing with the release of BECAUSE I | | | | happy. |
| LOVED YOU: A Birthmother's View Of Open | | | | I was lucky that a new wave of adoption had begun: |
| Adoption (Goblin Fern Press, 2006). In the book, I | | | | open adoption. I had ongoing contact with my son's |
| share my journey in choosing adoption for my son | | | | adoptive family and as the trust and respect grew, |
| Joe in 1985 and the growing relationship with his | | | | so did our commitment to each other and the boy |
| adoptive parents through his high school graduation. | | | | we loved. Today, over 90% of domestic adoptions |
| In order to dispel the myths regarding birthmother's | | | | are open arrangements. |
| it's important for people to hear the struggle women | | | | This building of a relationship was celebrated at my |
| face when making this decision. For me, I began to | | | | son's high school graduation. During the ceremony, |
| imagine what life would be like if I kept my baby...I | | | | the principal asked the parents responsible for getting |
| was lonely, worried about money, working all the | | | | their children through life to this day to stand. I sat |
| time. I imagined my child wandering into neighbor's | | | | and watched as Kathy and Jerry stood on either side |
| apartments looking for friends, someone to be a | | | | of me. Then, simultaneously, they looked down to |
| father. These thoughts always lead to screaming into | | | | me and reached out their hands. Kathy said, "You |
| my pillow out of frustration. After much consideration | | | | belong here too," and holding my hands tight, they |
| I knew that keeping him would be for ME, but placing | | | | pulled me up to stand between them. My story |
| him for adoption was best for HIM. I loved him | | | | mirrors that of thousands of other birthmothers, and |
| enough to put his needs before mine. This is what | | | | on this special day, let us recognize their loss, their |
| birthmother's face, making a decision that will be | | | | bravery, and their love. |
| hurtful to them in order to do what is best for their | | | | |