| Being a birthmom myself, this is an issue that is near | | | | search. They assured me that I DID have the right, |
| and dear to my heart. I spent many years feeling | | | | now that my son was an adult. |
| that I did not have the right to search for my son. | | | | The biggest difference for me, though, was what |
| When the social worker at the adoption agency told | | | | the adult adoptees had to say. To a person, their |
| me that by signing the relinquishment papers I was | | | | message was the same. SEARCH!!! You have the |
| giving up my right to ever have my son in my life | | | | right! You have important information for your son. |
| again, I believed her. Emotionally, I tucked my son | | | | Your son may be hoping that you search. If I were |
| away in a corner of my mind, and only acknowledged | | | | your son, I'd want you to be searching for me. |
| him when he snuck out for birthdays, holidays or | | | | The message was loud and clear. The past is the |
| other special occasions. For me, and for many other | | | | past. Today your son is an adult. You have much to |
| birthmoms, searching was a non-issue. | | | | share with him, and he has much to share with you. |
| What turned the tide for me was attending a | | | | Don't waste another day worrying about whether |
| conference of the American Adoption Congress. It | | | | you have the right - get out there NOW and search! |
| was amazing. For the first time ever, I spoke with | | | | My message to you is the same. You may have |
| other birthmoms about my experience. I spoke with | | | | been told that you didn't have the right either. If |
| adoptees. I interacted in mixed groups, and came | | | | your son or daughter is grown, and your heart tells |
| away from the conference a changed person. | | | | you to search, follow your heart, and you may find a |
| Most of the other birthmoms encouraged me to | | | | happy ending one of these days. |