| After years of trying to conceive unsuccessfully you | | | | are the rare birth mother. A more typical scenario is a |
| may be considering domestic adoption as a way to | | | | woman in her mid 20's with no job, minimal education |
| build your family. Adoption can be a wonderful choice | | | | and no support system, many of these women are |
| and it can be a way of putting the odds in your | | | | raising one or more children and they do not have |
| favor. | | | | enough to provide for another. This is reality so if |
| If you are at the end of the road with infertility | | | | you wait for the college student you could wait a |
| treatment and considering adoption it is important for | | | | very long time. Women who choose adoption may |
| you to gain as much knowledge as possible about | | | | not fit the picture you have in mind but they are |
| the realities of domestic adoption. Without this | | | | usually very selfless women who produce wonderful |
| knowledge you could unknowingly sabotage you | | | | kids. Don't get hung up on a profile that is unreal. |
| chances for success. | | | | 3. Being uneducated about birth mother living |
| Over the years I have seen many people enter into | | | | expenses: |
| adoption without taking the time to research and | | | | It is important to know and understand what is |
| seek the knowledge that is necessary to successfully | | | | allowable and customary regarding helping a birth |
| adopt, as a result they were unrealistic about what | | | | mother. Most states allow for birth parents to |
| to expect. | | | | receive help with pregnancy-related living expenses. |
| Here are some examples of how people sabotage | | | | This means you may be asked to help pay for |
| their efforts to adopt: | | | | maternity clothes, rent, utilities, food and |
| 1. Thinking that birth mothers are like you or that | | | | transportation for a period of time. If you have not |
| they think like you: | | | | educated yourself about this you may say no to a |
| You may never understand how someone could give | | | | perfectly good adoption because you do not see the |
| up their baby. Remember your worlds are very | | | | need to pay expenses. Almost all birth mothers need |
| different you want a baby more than life itself and | | | | some help. The key is to let your adoption |
| for many of these women a baby is the last thing | | | | professional guide you on what risks to take. In an |
| they want at this time in their life. A pregnancy which | | | | average adoption you can expect to pay between |
| would be your biggest joy is probably their biggest | | | | 1K and 3k in living expenses. |
| problem. Be aware of this and do not second guess | | | | Outlined here a just a few ways you could sabotage |
| the "how" a woman could do it. They do because | | | | your adoption. Be sure you and you mate are both |
| they need to. | | | | committed and truly ready. If one partner is pulling |
| 2. Not being realistic about what birth mothers are | | | | the other into adoption it probably will not work |
| like: | | | | I recommend seeking much information and support. |
| Many people enter into adoption thinking that the | | | | Talk to people who have adopted, read books on |
| typical birth mother is an unwed teen who just | | | | adoption, hire a coach, interview professionals, visit |
| happened to get pregnant or the college student | | | | adoption chat rooms. Information will give you some |
| who got pregnant by a med student. This profile is | | | | control over a somewhat uncontrollable process. |
| inaccurate and unless you get real no birth mother will | | | | I wish you the best in your journey to parenthood. |
| be good enough for you. Teens and college students | | | | |