| The adoption triad consists of the children who are | | | | These are a couple of very difficult questions that |
| adopted, birth mothers and fathers and adoptive | | | | must be answered prior to beginning the adoption |
| parents. Even if these three groups never meet | | | | process. With the possibility of becoming adoptive |
| together, their lives are bound to one another | | | | parents, there is a responsibility of the highest |
| through adoption. The children are connected to both | | | | commitment owed the potential adpoted children. It |
| sets of parents, and the birth parents and adoptive | | | | is critical that you do extensive research on the |
| parents are connected to each other through the | | | | adoption process, so you can determine if it is truly |
| children. There are joys and sorrows for everyone | | | | an experience you can manage. The children must |
| joined to adoption. Birth parents may miss the child | | | | not be given false hope. At this point in their lives, |
| they created, but may also be comforted that the | | | | they need and deserve nothing less than complete |
| child is being well cared for and loved in her new | | | | and reassuring love. |
| home. Adoptive parents may be concerned that the | | | | One of the main questions that adoptive parents |
| child will feel the loss of her biological parents but | | | | must ask themselves is can they love a child not |
| may be happy to love, care and raise the child. The | | | | born to them? If you read stories and books by |
| child may wonder about her biological parents but | | | | adoptive parents, you will find that the majority |
| may cherish and love her adoptive parents. These | | | | come to see themselves connected to their adopted |
| thoughts and feelings are complicated, complex and | | | | children in ways not understood by people who think |
| lifelong, and are dealt with more easily by some | | | | that a genetic link to their children is the essential tie. |
| people while others may struggle with them. Each | | | | Years ago, Cybthia McFadden interviewed Barbara |
| adoption is unique and so is the adjustment to it. But, | | | | Walters and her adopted daughter about this very |
| with love and support, most adoptions are successful | | | | issue. Barbara Walters and her daughter were so |
| at creating loving and stable environments in which | | | | loving and demonstrated so strongly the power of |
| children blossom. | | | | love as the key to successful parenting. The Lifetime |
| Not all adoptions are successful and some people are | | | | Network had a show called Adoption Stories that |
| opposed to adoption, but those who support | | | | profiled families' journeys through adoption. Watching |
| adoption recognize it as a way to provide children | | | | these parents struggle through the adoption process |
| with a safe, stable, and loving home environment. If | | | | and then watching these parents with their children, |
| you are considering adoption, you probably already | | | | you could not help but be inspired. And, these families |
| know some of the challenges. Our society sends | | | | clearly loved and were loved by their adopted |
| mixed messages about adoption. On one hand, you | | | | children.These families showed that parenting is a |
| have probably seen or heard public service | | | | choice and they could easily love a child not born to |
| announcements that talk about how precious | | | | them. While it might not be for everybody, for most |
| adoption can be; what a difference you can make in | | | | people it is just another way to make a family. |
| a child's life. On the other hand, you will see movies | | | | Asking yourself these tough questions is important. |
| or news stories where an adopted child has been in | | | | For some people, the answers come easily. If you |
| trouble or an adoption was done illegally. Of course, | | | | are one of those who know, you can meet a child's |
| this happens. But, biological children also do horrible | | | | need for a family openly and you can help that child |
| things and biological parents sometimes do horrible | | | | as he grows ( and support him if he has questions or |
| things to their children. Your decision to adopt should | | | | struggles about his adoption), your next step is to |
| be about your family. Do you want to parent a child | | | | find an adoption agency that can work with you to |
| and are you willing and able to face the challenges | | | | help you in this amazing journey. |
| that being an adoptive parent may bring? | | | | |