| From the adoptive parent's perspective, whether | | | | high with its own risks of emotional stress. By the |
| adoption is a first choice or not can be a reflection of | | | | time a couple has explored all the medical infertility |
| the journey it took them to consider adoption and | | | | options, they are generally asking themselves if |
| their own ideological values. If the choice for adoption | | | | adoption shouldn't have been their first choice. It |
| came about because of infertility issues, the adoptive | | | | becomes apparent to them that the creation of a |
| couple may have tried many other avenues to | | | | family isn't dependent on passing on a set of genetic |
| resolve their infertility issue before settling on | | | | instructions but having a child and a warm, loving |
| adoption. This is not a bad thing as the effects on | | | | home. |
| self-esteem and the death of personal dreams for a | | | | So, regardless that they did explore all avenues of |
| genetic child of their own need to be addressed | | | | infertility treatments, if they are honest about the |
| before adopting a child should be considered. In this | | | | resolution of their infertility with their adopted |
| case, second choice may be the best choice for all | | | | children, they can assure the child that they are first |
| involved as it allows the infertile couple the time they | | | | choices. That despite the avenue they took to get |
| need to mourn their own losses before considering | | | | to adoption, the choice was always to have children |
| opening their hearts to a new vision of family. | | | | of their own to love, and not necessarily children who |
| However, for many other couples, adoption is not | | | | were biological children. They can assure the adopted |
| just another choice, but a first choice. In some cases, | | | | child that the love they have for them is a first |
| these are families who have raised biological children | | | | choice love. |
| already and are not yet ready to retire. Others may | | | | Choosing Adoption As A Conscious First Choice |
| be ‘done' with the baby years, but still wish to | | | | There are families in may countries who have |
| expand their current family by adopting a school-aged | | | | parenting experience and feel adopting an older child |
| child. For those who chose to marry late in life, or | | | | in need of a strong family is a good choice. Well |
| perhaps are experiencing a 2nd marriage, biologically | | | | established in their lives, these may be older parents, |
| having a child may not be a first choice. Simply having | | | | single parents, or other non-traditional families who |
| a child to cherish and raise together may be the | | | | have social values that extend beyond personal |
| ultimate goal. In these cases, couples may make a | | | | gratification, or they can be traditional families that |
| conscious decision to put adoption in the forefront of | | | | what to extend their families by helping another child |
| their quest for building a family. These are the people | | | | in need. Others are families that have already raised |
| who open their hearts and their homes to children in | | | | their own children and feel they have plenty of love |
| need of parents. | | | | to spare for others. Whether the choice was done |
| Will The Child Consider Themselves A Second | | | | after biological children were born or not, these |
| Choice? One of the issues that an infertile couple | | | | families consider adoption a first choice, even though |
| may need to address is the idea that they are | | | | it may come after having children biologically. |
| choosing adoption as a "second choice." While the | | | | Many families feel the struggle of children in the |
| journey to get to adoption may have not been their | | | | foster care system or the over-crowded orphanages |
| first choice, it's important that the child they adopt | | | | of the world. When hearts focus on love, the choice |
| not think of itself as a second choice. Adopted | | | | to adopt is not done to complete a family but to |
| children may be sensitive to the idea that the infertile | | | | extend an already loving one. Many of these families |
| couple might not have adopted them if they had had | | | | take care to not only provide shelter and food for |
| other choices that worked for them. | | | | their adopted children's needs but establish a sense |
| One of the primary concerns for infertile couples in | | | | of home and honor the adopted child's cultural |
| building a family is the cost of infertility treatments in | | | | heritage, even if it is different than their own. |
| time, emotional duress, and money. Infertility | | | | Adoption is no longer just about infertility. Today |
| treatments are expensive and the risks are multiple | | | | families of all types are opening their hearts, homes |
| births or miscarriages. The treatments may take | | | | and lives to the love that adoption brings. |
| years to produce results. The risk for miscarriage is | | | | |