| Two pregnant women met in my law office, as well | | | | to time and receive photos and letters from the |
| as the husband of one. The discussion was adoption. | | | | family. And the door to further communication and |
| Kind of odd, don't you think, since they are both | | | | contact remains open. That makes Ann happy for |
| pregnant? | | | | her son and for herself. She is at peace because she |
| You see, one of the women has made a plan to | | | | knows he is now secure in a loving family. |
| place her unborn child for adoption. The other, equally | | | | This time, with this pregnancy, Ann decided to |
| as pregnant, plans to adopt that child as well as give | | | | short-circuit the hurt and the grief by making an |
| birth just a few weeks later to her own child. How | | | | adoption plan early in her pregnancy. She doesn't |
| this crazy scenario came about is a study in love and | | | | want to feel any more pain from bonding and loss |
| commitment. | | | | than is necessary to place this son into a loving home. |
| It's a simple story really. Dawn and Rick came to me | | | | And she wants her unborn son to feel safe, loved |
| desperate after many years of infertility treatments. | | | | and secure from the very beginning -- and forever. |
| Their dream was to adopt a child. Ann, a woman | | | | She selected Dawn and Rick from a number of |
| unable to parent any of her previous five children, | | | | families. They "interviewed" each other and came to |
| due to her unstable life and intermittent drug use, | | | | care about each other. An adoption plan was agreed |
| came to me to find a loving couple to adopt her child. | | | | upon. A few weeks later, to the great surprise of all, |
| She said she wanted to "do it right" this time so | | | | Dawn discovered she was pregnant. |
| nobody gets hurt, neither she nor this child. | | | | Dawn and Rick could easily have told Ann that they |
| You see, every one of her 5 other children are living | | | | no longer wanted to adopt her baby. But they didn't. |
| with a different family through various circumstances. | | | | They had made a commitment to her and they had |
| Each of them had been taken away from her by the | | | | made a commitment to her unborn child. They were |
| state after she attempted to parent them. Ann has | | | | committed. And they already loved Ann's unborn child. |
| known a great deal of heartache and loss. It may be | | | | They realized that they were meant to be the |
| hard for us to understand how much Ann loves all of | | | | parents of two children, near "twins" in age. |
| her children. It's easy to think that if she really loved | | | | Near the end of our meeting today, Ann looked |
| her children, she would have moved heaven and | | | | Dawn in the eye and asked, "You aren't going to |
| earth to parent them well and to keep them. Well, | | | | change your mind, are you?" Ann's fear is that after |
| Ann does love her children, she just can't provide | | | | Dawn gives birth, she might not want Ann's child, |
| enough stability and income to raise them. Help from | | | | preferring to focus only on her new daughter. It was |
| family members or the children's fathers is virtually | | | | touching to hear Dawn and Rick assure Ann in loving, |
| non-existent. | | | | but no uncertain terms, how fully committed they |
| Each time a child was taken away, she hoped to help | | | | are to being the parents of Ann's child. |
| the state choose a loving family. Sometimes the | | | | Then Dawn and Rick turned the tables. They told |
| state chose one of her family members to parent | | | | Ann that their greatest fear is that she might change |
| the child. Other times, the state took the child away | | | | her mind about the adoption. They wanted to hear |
| and curtailed her visitation rights at the first | | | | Ann say that she was fully committed to placing her |
| opportunity, never allowing her to see that child again | | | | son for adoption with them. Ann, clearly moved by |
| or even meet the unknown family chosen by the | | | | Dawn and Rick's commitment to her child, assured |
| state to parent the child. That's what happened with | | | | them her mind was made up. |
| her youngest, a boy of two. The state stepped in | | | | The beauty of adoption is that everyone gets what |
| early and took him away. | | | | they need. The adopting parents become the |
| Just last month, she lost all hope to ever get him | | | | parents of a child. The child's birth mother has peace |
| back from the state. Fortunately, she was able, | | | | of mind that her child will be raised by a loving family |
| through the help of a lawyer, to have him placed | | | | she chose for her child. And the child is the biggest |
| with an adoptive couple whom Ann got to choose. | | | | winner. The child gets a family where he is loved and |
| She was there when the couple met their new son | | | | wanted. |
| for the first time and it was there that she kissed | | | | The power of love and commitment triumphs in |
| him good bye. She is happy for him. He is finally in a | | | | adoption. |
| permanent home. And she'll get to see him from time | | | | |